Exhale (Eddie x reader)

NO DONT DO THAT... pt 3

Warning⚠️ this chapter goes into detail about self harm,  depression, suicidal thoughts,  abuse, alcoholism, drug addiction and sexual assault. Please beware if you are sensitive to any of these topics.

Y/n POV

I woke up to feel... hurt... but I dont know why. I didnt want to get out of bed today. Eddie called but I didnt answer. I felt................... empty. I know that eddie and I were together now but I felt numb.

I stared at my ceiling as I felt tears coming down out of my eyes. Today was the day that my dad came to see us. My mom and dad divorced years ago but my dad was coming over to see us.

When I didnt pick up the phone eddie must have gotten worried. I heard his voice talking to my mom. He sounded worried. Then I heard footsteps coming from the stairs.

"Hey y/n, are you ok?" Eddie asked

"NO IM NOT, IM SO SORRY BUT WE HAVE TO TALK." I cried.

"Of corse y/n you can tell me anything, you know that, right?"

"Of course, now can we please talk before my "dad" gets here."

"Yea, sure, is everything ok?"

"Just, listen ok. I dont want you to feel bad for me or anything ok, I am still the same person. Ok?"

"Ok,"

"And you CAN NOT tell anyone GOT IT!"

"Ok y/n, calm down please,"  eddie said with worry in his eyes.

"Ok, I'm sorry," I said in response.

I got up and locked the door in case my father walked in. I sat down and nearly cried. As I sat there with tears my eyes as I opened my mouth.

"So, um when I was five years old............ me and m-m-my dad were so close, but as I got older, around nine and ten years old, he got weird with me. He.... um.... well he..... he touched me. And he told me never to tell, or I would get hurt." I had to stop because my tears choked up my throat.

"Its ok... I understand if you dont want to talk, you dont have to."

"No, I do, I want to get this off my chest."

"Ok, but if you feel like you need to stop, you can ok."

"Ok,"

"After all of that, well I started doing bad things, like cutting, attempting suicide, and worst of all, I started.............. drinking. Ya I know, a ten year old drinking, but I used to get up at night and go downstairs to my dad's beer cabinet. One day, I couldn't take it anymore and told my mom, but it was the worse mistake of my life. He....... well that night that I t-t-t-told her... he punched me in my face. That night I I went to my room, and I almost... hu-hu-hung myself. My mom saw me, and she pulled me down with tears in her eyes. I promised her and myself that I would never do it again.... but i broke it, I CUT AGAIN EDDIE..... I DONT WANNA CUT ANYMORE. I WANT TO STOP BUT HOW!" I went into his arms.

He stroked my hair softly, trying to calm me down.

"C-can I see?"he asked.

I nodded and pulled up my long sleeve revealing large, red, scabbed cuts. I nearly cried when he held my hand and I saw tears form in his eyes.

"Please dont cry," I pleaded.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you more than anything. You know that right."

I looked at him and told him that I was going to be ok and to go home. He said he would but come back later.

Then my dad got here...

"Hey kids, I'm here," he said.

Richie went downstairs to greet him while I just stayed in my room with the door closed and locked.

"Y/N WHERE ARE YOU. WHY DONT YOU SAY HI TO YOUR POOR DAD."

I DID NOT wanna look him in the face.

He came up the stairs and forced my door open.

"hi dad,"

"Hi sweety, how are you, you look so beautiful," he said closing my door and locking it.

"Dad why are you locking the door?"

"Because I want to have some alone time with you," he said with a smirk.

"Richie, why dont you go to the arcade, me and y/n need some alone time."

"Ok dad." Richie didnt know about what happened. Mom promised me that she would tell him.

Shit, now I was stuck in a house with my rapist father.

He got a smug look on his face as my brother left the house. He climbed on my bed and I cried. After he told me that if I told anyone he would kill us all. So i didnt.

I was so scared of what my dad would do so I decided to end it all there. I went to out medicine cabinet and got a full bottle of pills. I wrote a letter to eddie explaining everything.

Dear Eddie,
I'm so sorry but I cant do this anymore. It happened again today and he told me he would kill you and my mom and richie if I told anyone. I still love you and I always will. I cant keep doing this. It hurts, there are some days were I dont even wanna wake up. Tell everyone that I love them and I dont want them to grieve for me. I love you losers, goodbye
                    With all my love -y/n

I wrote.