Sometimes I just don't know;
I don't know where I should go.
Who should I be, what should I do?
How do I move on from you?
Every single time I visit that place,
I feel my heart start to race.
As my recollections encompass,
My body, my soul, my mind.
It seems that the more I try,
The more I feel dead inside.
Lost in darkness, lost my light,
I pray I make it through the night.
Those luscious lips of yours,
And that piercing gaze that bores,
Deep into my crystalline eyes.
I feel the urge, the temptation,
And every night I question if I want to die,
Before I find the strength to confront my own nation.
Is it worth staying alive?
Fighting for this stupid life?
Hate spreads like wildfire,
This nation's sick twisted desire.
Why does it seem like God has abandoned me?
In the time when it is clear to see,
That I need hope and faith the most.
I have nothing to boast,
But of my own failures, sadness, and greed.
Is it wrong for me to desire,
The things that were not meant for me?
I know envy is a sin,
But it's the hunger I have within.
I know deep down God is there.
So, why do I feel like he doesn't care?
Am I just a sacrificial lamb,
Left to be damned,
And nailed to that bloodied cross?
While you sit there laughing,
Watching as scarlet seeps into that moss?
You adorn me,
With that crown of thorns,
Hoping that I can repent,
Without you having to spend a cent,
On my worthless life.
Why are you the source of my strife?
And so the story goes–it reverts back to you.
All the evil things you do;
All the things I've allowed to assault me;
All the times I trusted in "what could be."
Can I ever escape this grip?
My grasp on reality is starting to slip.
I'm sinking further, and you can't hear a sound.
Would anyone miss me if I wasn't around?
YOU ARE READING
Afterthoughts
PoetryA collaborative collection of poems reflecting the inner workings of the human mind, challenges, musings, desires, and emotions. These poems contain some of the thoughts racing through our mind when we take a step back and reflect on ourselves. Som...
