Not A Stranger to Pain

Chapter 23

Her life was full of misery and thorns, perhaps she was a rose that had not yet bloomed. She didn't want to dream about a better future in case those dreams never came true.

If she could preach about how evil the world could be she would be the archbishop of pain.

She was always a coward in acting out her feelings, she knew she wanted those who had caused her pain to suffer, but could not master the courage to do so.
She wanted to be their worst nightmare, she was on thin rope to losing her sanity, that is if she was ever sane to begin with.

She was always drifting into herself because she felt that no one could understand her better than herself.

She was so withdrawn, and detached from her surroundings.

Those who tried to befriend her were not able to for she had built her walls to high.

They were thick impenetrable walls, she had vowed not to let anyone in wether being a lady or guy because all genders had disappointed her.

She remembered telling Sky  Terence's friend about what had happened to her and instead of comforting her she had told her that "What do you expect , you didn't want to sleep with him so what else could he do".

To think that another lady would say such hurtful words was beyond her.

She never wanted Sky's pity no she didn't want nor need it, all she craved for was someone who could listen to her tormented soul.

Why couldn't people listen to her , instead of concluding on their own, people could  be such pains.

When she went home she told her mother what had happened at first it seemed like there was hope because she would listen to what she had to say.

But this soon turned against her when Liz called her whore who opens up her legs for every crawling thing.

How many times does a heart get shattered, how many shattering pieces should there be for people to stop harming her especially when she is so fragile.

Chara longed and craved to fade into non existence, she felt that there was no difference between living and non existence.

She had been breathing carbon dioxide ever since the day she was born.

She had been feeding on insults that she could not look at herself in the mirror.

She tried to smile but whenever she did she would remember her mother telling her that her smile was too big or ridiculed her about it.

She didn't know how to smile without frowning, she still kept those words close to her heart.

She never wanted pity because she had once thrown herself into a pity party.

But now she had accepted life as it was, the pain, lies,deceit,anger and loathing.

The people close to her would do this yet tell her that they loved her.

What type of love was this that destroyed everything upon first glance.

The love they showed her was acidic, toxic yet their self absorbed selves never realized that.

It was rather ironic that people want to be treated fairly when it comes to their lives but when it comes to others they treat them as though they are not humans as if they are less than.

What happened to the phrase "Do unto  others as you want them to do unto you".

Chara was always questioning this.