JEWELS OF AUTHENTICITY

Am I Normal?

Schizo-affective disorder, a very complex personality

highs and lows, OCD, what the hell's wrong with me?

I am frightened of a knock on the door

I roll up like a ball on the floor

I am full of dread

so I hide in bed

wishing I was dead

and that's just on a good day

the devil is my CPN

he rises up behind the sofa

he slides it in real deep

he fills me with powder and solvent

and lots of glory

through the eye of his needle

when I get up I hear voices

I am not allowed to make personal choices

they make me paranoid

they make me annoyed

I wish they would go to hell

and I could always be well

so called normal just like you

my alcohol intake keeps me awake

but it's a coping strategy

that I just can't afford to forsake

a strategy that I do not fake

I blame it on the pills they make me take

stress makes my brain boil and bake

my life is not as easy as a piece of cake

I need to take a gambling break

because of all my mental heart ache

but most of all I need to give my head a shake

when I get really bad the doctors think I am mad

I get a fright when admitted by men in black at night

they lock me in a metal cage which generates personal rage

they fill me up with drugs and give me no hugs

they lock me up and throw away the key

and it's only darkness that I see

I see an experienced psychiatrist, dull and grey

when she can be bothered to come out to play

why does she receive such an exorbitant rate of pay

when my treatment consists of lying in bed all day?

an injection up the bum, no harm done

they ask me vague questions

which make me cry

whilst all the time I am thinking

that I am going to die

I don't know how much I can take

I am already burning in Hell

and Satan is waiting for me at its gates