My Rogue

Chapter 16: Memories

Mika's POV

I really didn't want to tell him. I didn't want to rehash the horrible parts of my past to Adriel. Even though part of me knew he wouldn't hate me, I couldn't help but think what if...

But I had to. I had already put them in danger once. I almost got Ayana killed. I couldn't let that happen to them, not after what Adriel had just told me. He trusted me enough to tell me those parts of him and his past, I should at least be able to do the same.

I wanted to have faith in him he would accept me, but the voice deep down in my heart grew louder and louder as I prepared to speak, screaming the more probable repercussions to my reveal.

Perhaps he would kick me out after he learned what a broken toy I was, used for so long by someone else. I wouldn't blame him, really. Who wants to put their entire pack in danger because of some secondhand rogue, mate or not.

Even if the mate bond was enough to save his compassions, there's no way the Pack would want me here after what just happened. I can't say why my old Alpha was hunting me down so thoroughly, I didn't think I was really worth the effort. But I know Diego had formed alliances with Rogues before so them coming here after I arrived was too much of a coincidence to ignore.

This pack had already had enough trauma with Rogues. Adriel and his family had already had too much taken away. I wouldn't let my presence bring forth more disaster on this pack; my conscious couldn't allow it.

I took a deep breath as Adriel sat in the bed next to me, his grip around my waist pulling a little tighter as he noticed the small trembles starting to take over my hands and shoulders.

"M-my old pack..." I tried to start but the words got stuck in my throat. It was like there was a wall holding them back, chocking me with my unspoken confession.

"Shh, baby. It's okay," Adriel said as he pulled me in to him, my back flat against his stomach. His warm lips caressed my temple as he whispered to me, making my heart flutter and nerves change their priorities. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No! No, I-I want to... need to..." I snuggled back into his embrace, holding the arms wrapped around me as if for comfort. "My old pack was very... different that yours. My Alpha was very different."

Adriel said nothing but I could feel his arms tighten at my shaking voice.

"I don't really remember much from when I was young, but what I do remember was not pleasant. The Alpha, he was... strength and power were everything to him. He ruled the pack like it was his personal playground and we weak wolves here his... toys.

"I... uh.... I was probably the most hated one. Don't bother asking why, I have no clue. I wasn't weak, necessarily, but I was nothing compared to him. He's the strongest wolf I've ever met, and for some reason I was his favorite play-thing."

"What type of plaything?" Adriel's words were curt and sharp, and I could feel his anger seeping through his body into mine.

I shivered but forced myself to keep going. "A-at first it was nothing serious. I was just made to clean up after him, do the chores, take care of all his daily needs. But when I got a little older, it turned into..." I couldn't finish.

"Other types of needs?" Adriel's voice was dangerously low.

I nodded, my head barely moving up and down as my body began to quiver uncontrollably. My heartbeat was racing as the memories began to surface, all the times he had forced himself on me. I couldn't stop as the tears began to pour out like rain, my efforts to stifle my sobs fruitless. The tight arms around me loosed just a hair and panic filled my already dejected heart.