My Rogue

Chapter 21: Caution

Mika's POV

It was odd to have someone- er, something- take over your body like that. I wasn't sure what had made this time so different from others, but I was conscious throughout the entire discussion Nokomis had with the leaders of the Rose Moon Pack.

I could sense Adriel's worry and frustration even from the back of my subconscious. It made my heart flutter a bit to see someone actually so worried about me. What managed to surprise me through all of this was the fact I was rather calm about these revelations. Well, calmer than I thought I would be learning there was someone living inside me.

When I heard Nokomis explain everything, instead of surprise, I found myself feeling more at ease than ever, as though I had somehow known of this all along and what we were told just confirmed my suspicions. Knowing that Noko was with me all those years somehow made me feel better and comforted.

What didn't make me calm was the knowledge that Diego and my old pack were most likely coming after me. I had known they would be mad their personal punching bag ran away, but I would never have suspected I held such an important part of their plans... whatever those plans were.

And yet, I still found myself calmer than expected at the news. Sure, it was horrible and torturous there to the point my nightmares kept the pack up at night, but sitting in this room, Nokomis revealing himself to us all as I was cradled in my mates embrace, I couldn't find it in me to fear too much at all.

I guess, for the first time ever, I had some back up.

Mika?

A voice rang to me in my head and I knew immediately it was Nokomis.

Noko, I answered him. I-I missed you.

It was stupid but it was all I could think to say. I could practically feel the tears running down the non-existent face of my subconscious as a warmth enveloped me, Noko's voice ringing beside my ear.

I'm so sorry Mika.

What for? I asked as I returned the embrace.

I'm so sorry I left you alone. All those years, what you had to endure... alone.

I could feel a smile play at my lips. You protected me anyway you could. How could I hate you for that?

I could feel the Moon Spirit within me shake with relief. Who would have thought a spirit could be so emotionally fragile.

It was you, right? I asked. All those times I was beaten, bruised, tortured. You helped me.. You kept me alive through it all.

I felt Noko nod his head. Though, at times, I was sure you didn't want me to. I felt it Mika, you're desire to just end it all. I felt you beg me to just let you die but I couldn't. I felt at times I was less a cure and more a cruel way to keep you locked in a circle of misery. I almost forwent my sacred duty inorder to let you go, to give you relief. But I couldn't Mika, you're too important.

I gave a small laugh. Well, I appreciate you sticking with me regardless. If it weren't for you I wouldn't have met Adriel and the others. So... thank you, Noko. Thanks for keeping me alive.

I could feel the relief flood through me. I guess it must have weighed heavily on his mind, keeping me alive all those years just to endure more and more abuse. But honestly, I was glad I had made it through. This may be the first time I ever thought this way, but I was actually happy to be alive.

I love you Mika, Noko said. And I just wanted the best for you, for us. Your courage is what brought us here, to this pack. You should be proud.