This Might Hurt A Little-A Dallas Winston Fanfiction

The Sun Also Rises

You've learned to run away from what you feel and that's why you have nightmares. To deny is to invite madness. To accept is to control.-Megan Chance, The Spiritualist

I have the habit of running away from the people I love. I did it first when I was six. My mom told me I couldn't play outside until I cleaned my room and boy, that got me so mad I ran straight out the front door and hid out in my neighbors shed until I got hungry. That was approximately 45 minutes later. See, when you're young, running away is scary. You don't know whats out there. You know what your house is like, a security blanket of sorts. But, when you're older, things change. At least for me they did. Home was no longer a security blanket. My home and all the people I knew are who I wanted to get away from. I wanted something new. I wanted a breath of fresh air and I knew exactly who to go to.

"So, where we headed?" Mark asked, revving the engine of the mustang he had hot wired.

Normally, I would have cared but I just couldn't get myself too. I didn't want to think. Thinking hurt too much. If I would think I would have thought about Dallas and the way he held that switchblade to my skin.

"Anywhere." I leaned my head back onto the leather seat, closing my eyes.

Mark shot forward, the tires of the mustang protested but I didn't care. I felt free.

"Aren't you going to ask me my life story?" I turned to Mark.

He shook his head, giving me a sly smile, "I don't care enough to ask."

I laughed, despite the comment being somewhat insulting. Having someone who didn't care about my life was refreshing.

We drove for hours and soon enough we reached places I had never seen before. The towns faded out and there was nothing but rolling hills for miles.  The sky darkened as we kept driving and I couldn't have cared any less about the change. I knew if Johnny were there he would have his hands up and his head out the side. 

Don't think about Johnny. Don't do it. 

I forced myself to think about something else. I couldn't think of anything that wasn't about Dallas or Johnny. I settled on staring at Mark. God, he was even more beautiful than Sodapop, which I didn't think was possible until then. Maybe it was just the way he looked in light. The setting sun was reflecting in his golden eyes, that narrowed when he saw me staring.

"What are you looking at?"

"You're beautiful, Mark." I told him honestly.

He gave me one of his biggest smiles, "I know."

He knew he was beautiful in the same way Sodapop knew he was beautiful. When you're that good looking, people treat you differently. They weren't beautiful in the way that I am. My mother always told me it takes a couple looks at me to know. But with Sodapop and Mark, they're beautiful in the most obvious way possible. In the way that it's almost unfair.

Eventually, once the sun was way below the horizon Mark stopped driving. We were in the absolute middle of nowhere.

"How do you feel about sleeping here?" Mark asked, reclining his seat backwards. He was already closing his eyes.

I knew better than to say no. I reclined my seat back as well, staring at the big empty sky above me. I wish I would have appreciated it more. Everyone knows the country stars aren't a thing like the city ones. In the city, you're lucky if you get maybe 30 stars in the sky. In the country, the stars are endless.

Mark and I spent the rest of the evening and night laying in that car. I felt like I could have married him that night. I swore I was in love with him but, all I was in love with was the freedom of getting away from Tulsa. Sometimes you can love the things associated with a person, but still not love them.