This Might Hurt A Little-A Dallas Winston Fanfiction

What I Am

You become enlightened with the feeling of feeling hurt, which is worse, I am certain, than the existent hurt.-Jonathan Safran Foer

Dallas and I stood there in silence for a few moments. I was just trying to come up with some way to comfort him, trying to think of a way to put a positive spin on the situation. But, there was nothing I could do. He wanted a father but, the father he had didn't want him. I couldn't change that.

"I'm sorry." Was all I could think of to say.

He shook his head, his dark hair falling over his eyes, "You didn't do anything."

"I'm still sorry."

I did the only thing I could do to comfort him. I stood up on my tip toes and planted a kiss right on the side of his cheek. He didn't jerk away, or even flinch. He just stood there and looked back at me. I could have sworn he gave me a smile but, Johnny started hollering right about then about he couldn't find my jacket. I still don't think he knows that I was lying about that.

"You need someplace to stay tonight?" I asked Dallas once Johnny shut his mouth.

He shrugged, "I'll find somewhere."

"Spend the night at my house."

"It's okay, I'll ask Buck or Shepard."

"It wasn't a question. Just sleep at my house tonight, okay?" I was saying it more for my benefit than his. If he slept at my house at least I would know that he was safe. 

Dallas stared at me through the fading glow of the sunset, "Okay."

"You can come too Johnny. Seriously, my moms out of town. She won't have to know."

A smile broke out on his small face, "Thanks Scarlett."

I've always felt better when I knew where everyone was sleeping. You could count on the Curtis's to be at their own place and Two-Bit to be at his but, everyone else was always up in the air.  I don't like the idea of them wandering around past sunset trying to figure out whose couch they were crashing on.

Johnny nearly fainted when he saw my house. "I knew you were a soc Scarlett but damn, you're rich."

I laughed under my breath and unlocked the front door, hoping that my mother hadn't made an early return from her weekend away for work. Sure enough, the only one there was my dog Koda. We spent the rest of the evening watching re-runs of TV shows and listening to how stupid Dallas thought they all were. Around midnight I hit the power button and nobody complained when I did. I didn't say anything because, I could tell both of them were thinking.

"I think if I would have been a better kid, my dad would have liked me. He would have kept me around. Maybe my mom would still be here too." Dallas said, looking down at his feet.

Johnny spoke up next, "I used to think like that...I tried being good for my parents, I really did. But, my old man, he'll hate me until the day I die."

"We don't need them, Johnny. We'll do just fine without them." 

I don't know if he was saying that for Johnny or saying it for himself. Either way, he didn't sound convinced.

"This isn't fair." I said.

Dallas got that expression he gets in a rumble right before he hits someone and snapped at me, "Haven't you heard? Life isn't fair."