Hopelessly depressed by you

How compete with New York?

 BLAINE POV

It's been a month since Kurt went to New York, and we have less and less time to make up for the distance and lack he makes me. Even with all the clubs and activity that I undertook, I still catch myself a long time brooding over the lack of my true love!

I know, I know ... I don't want to look like those needy, clingy boyfriends who can't live without their beloved, but there are times when I feel alone and ignored. I also know that I was the one who encouraged ... no, I practically forced Kurt to go to New York to chase their dreams, but I didn't expect him to be so involved with the city and its charms that he would forget about me.

It's not that I want him to live for me or my needs ... no, that's not it! I know his dreams are important and need effort and time to reach, but is there not a moment left to hear me? Five minutes whatsoever?

I think I may be exaggerating, but what made me more hurt and perhaps pushed me into this questioning of our relationship was the McKinley High elections ... I won ... I know I should be too proud, super happy .. But I feel empty ... anesthetized as if it were worthless, because Kurt didn't even give me a chance to recount my achievement. He denied all my calls on victory day. Wow !!! Not a wish of good luck the day before the elections !!! He did not remember! .... or worse ... didn't really care!

I have been wondering if we were really made for each other, if we are soul mates ... or if it was all a figment of my head, just as I did with Jeremiah's situation.

Or am I so dependent on Kurt and all that involves him to complete what is missing in my life that he feels so sure of my complete devotion to him and our relationship that he feels safe and needless to fight for. we. Maybe that's it ... maybe I'm very predictable ... very dependent ...

That must be it ... Kurt is a dynamic, persistent, brave, talented, self-assured person ... why would he put it all aside to deal with boyfriend insecurity? Wow ... am I that insecure? Ridiculous! Never saw myself as someone so full of doubts .... ahhh come on! ... who I want to fool?

How can I expect Kurt not to get carried away by New York? He always wanted to go there! New York is full of opportunities, fun, interesting people ... yeah .... interesting, stimulating, self-assured men ... just like my Kurt. How will I compete with this? How will I compete with New York?