Hopelessly depressed by you

From teenage dream to nightmare in one night

I feel like a big coward. Deciding to walk to Kurt's loft just has more time to find a way to confess my mistake to him. What do I get out of it, besides stalling the inevitable? Anything! Of course he won't forgive me ... and the worst thing is that I know he's right, that he has every right not to forgive me. But even knowing it hurts me a lot!

Flowers ... Kurt loves receiving flowers ... His face brightens when he receives a romantic gesture. Kurt is so special and deserves everything ... except being betrayed by the one he helped the most. What was I thinking? Sincerely! That a huge bouquet of flowers would guarantee forgiveness for such cruel disappointment? What a naivete of mine ... in fact ... it's so much abuse for me to think of something like that. But even so, I'll take the flowers to him, even if he throws it in my face when I tell him what I did. ... that's ... that's probably what will happen ...

There ... just a few more flights of stairs and my future will be destroyed at once. The love of my life will know that I am worthless and wasted time with someone so worthless and worthless as me.

But how should I start to say something as vile as this? How do I get to Kurt and just tell him what I did, bluntly? He will be so disappointed ...

Take a deep breath Blaine Anderson! Have real courage once in a lifetime, boy, and knock on that door and get it over with. It will be faster than you can expect! You come in, look into Kurt's eyes ... those beautiful and passionate blue eyes that always looked at you with devotion and love ... and say all you have to say! At once! No bluntness! Without cowering!

* TOC TOC TOC *

* (Kurt opens the door, greets Blaine and then Blaine notices Finn and Rachel also in the loft)

MY GOD!!! I CAN NOT!!! I CAN NOT!!!

How can I tell what I did to Kurt with Finn and Rachel here? I can't spoil their day ... you coward, that's not why you don't want to tell ... you don't want to risk losing the good-boy image you all have, isn't that your fake? ..

Finn will want to finish me! And Rachel ??? She'll be so disappointed that I destroy her best friend's heart ... My God, what do I do now? And they still want to go out, like a double date ... They have no idea what a mess they have in their midst. I'm really a useless coward ... lending myself to hang out with them like nothing happened. I'm a vile liar ...

Kurt is so happy. New York was made for him and he for the city. He deserves all the best and brightest ... look how excited he is about the lights, music and the NYADA folks at this bar ... He fits perfectly into this glamorous life ... he doesn't need a human mistake like me to anchor him in a world of failure ... he deserves the starry and happiness, all that love and music can bring to him ...

Music ... I will use music as my last breath for this love that is about to be destroyed by my confession ... or rather, that has already been destroyed by my betrayal ... I'm sorry Kurt ... you should never have wasted time with someone like me ... I always knew that I was nothing ...

TeenageDream ... you are my dream, my high school sweetheart, my life ... my everything ... and yet, I got carried away by my insecurity and destroyed it ... It's destroying me to see your eyes fill with tears while I play here on this piano, but I need to continue ... because this is my goodbye to happiness ... this is the last time I know I can look into those eyes and feel that the love they show is mine .... because it is and the last time I will not see disappointment in that look ...

I can't cry ... I have no right to cry ... Sing right Blaine Devon Anderson! Do at least one thing right ...

"My ... heart ... stops, when you look at me! ..." ... nothing more appropriate than this part of the lyrics, your look is everything to me Kurt ... I don't know how I'll live without you ... how could i be so stupid?

"I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece ..." I had found a reason to live, how could I throw it away just because I felt alone ... how?

"... Don't ever look back ..." You will absolutely hate me, and I know you will never want to look me in the face, but I have to confess what I did .... I have to say everything I feel for you, even though after that what I feel will no longer have any value to you ...

"... Be your teenage dream tonight ..." ... forgive me Kurt, but tonight I'll be your nightmare ...