I never thought traveling was so stressful. Of course it's not the trip itself that is making me nervous ... no ... I was never afraid of a plane! My fear is to face Kurt face to face ... what I'm afraid at the moment is not being able to accept that he won't forgive me ... But of course he won't forgive me, nor should he! I betray not only his trust but his love ... How will he look at me and respect me again after I confess what I did? I don't even respect myself anymore!
Ah ... if this plane landed, everything would be easier. I would not have to face my failure and live with the loss of the love of my life! ... Stop it Blaine Anderson, at least once in your life be a man and don't be selfish ... look how many families would be destroyed just so you don't have to make your mistakes !!! ... how stupid I am !!
If dying were the solution to my mistakes, at least I must have the decency to do so without disturbing anyone else's life ... It's enough the poor ones who have to live with me and my pathetic existence ... It's enough I have messed up the lives of so many people ... especially someone as special as Kurt.Kurt !! ... He can't imagine missing him !! How can someone be so important in our lives and yet be dumb enough to destroy with our own actions!
I need to have the courage to look into those beautiful, addictive blue eyes, so expressive, and to be able to confess everything I've done ... even though the pain I know I'm going to cause Kurt, I can't deny his right to know how much you messed up. and disgusting I am ... he needs to know that I'm not worth his love, his time, his respect. I have to have the courage to ask his forgiveness even if I have to be aware that I won't have it!
... My God .... never a trip took so long to pass and at the same time passed faster than my mind needs to calm down ... Damn the heavy conscience, isn't it?
I could be here, now, on the plane to New York, planning a thousand tours to enjoy the love company of my life ... but no ... because of my need for attention, my lack of children, I'm here anxious as if on death row.
The worst thing is how I feel ... because I'm counting the minutes to lose everything I understand for life ... I'll lose the love of my life, my reason for living ... I'll lose Kurt and I can't blame anyone but Myself: Blaine Devon Anderson, the failure in person, the disappointment in relationship, the example of human waste!
Okay ...this is it ... we landed! Take a deep breath in your pathetic boyfriend excuse! A few more minutes and you will destroy the heart of the one you swore never to hurt
YOU ARE READING
Hopelessly depressed by you
FanfictionThis story takes place in season four, from Kurt's trip to New York, Klaine's break up, and all the consequences on Blaine's relationship and attitude. Here is my version, from Blaine's own point of view, depressed and with low esteem, which gets ca...
