Hopelessly depressed by you

Coward. Is that what I am?

I finally got to talk to Kurt for an incredible 10 minutes, after hundreds of attempts ... I told him I was missing him ... I know he misses me too. Unfortunately he had to hang up, had millions of things to do! ... Of course I had, what went through my mind? That he was going to be upside down waiting to hear about my boring little town life in the middle of the afternoon ...

Affe ... how am I an idiot !!! What was I thinking when I spoke of holding my breath until we could meet in NY? Now that Kurt will really think I'm a sticky boyfriend wanting to make me a victim! moron! moron!!!!

I just wanted him to notice that I'm feeling lonely ...

I just wanted it. Is that too much to ask? ... It's been a while since I've felt dear, wanted ...

Knowing that my parents would rather be anywhere, in the company of anyone else than here with me, I already know. I got used to it. It's always been that way, as long as I can remember ... Kurt is lucky. Burt is the father example everyone would like to have! Affectionate, is always on his side supporting, giving strength ... even when he calls Kurt's attention, you can feel the love he has for his son ... so different from Dad!

Besides, Kurt has the support of Carol and Finn, everything a family should be ... everything I ever wanted.

Family ... Today at the glee club, Sam referred to New Directions as family ... until I believe it's true, at least I feel better among ND members than in my own home ... but even at glee club ando Feeling out of place.

Sam asked me if I was mad at him today at school. I did not understand ?! Everything is normal, at least it's normal for me ... I go to school, I worry as I can not to think about Kurt, I go back to my empty house since my parents traveled again ... Normal ... He arrived to say that I have isolated myself from the staff, but no ... not me. It will be?

ah ... i have taken refuge in social networks ... it's easier to deal with loneliness with the help of facebook ... it's funny how you can have "thousands" of friends there. In the world of facebook, it's easier for me to pretend perfect and not bother anyone ... Today I made friends with a boy, his name is Eli ... no, it's nothing much, it's just friendship. He said he likes to talk to me ... that I'm interesting. I, INTERESTING! ... poor guy ... he's so wrong! Not even my boyfriend, who claimed to love me more than anything else finds me interesting ... of course one day Kurt would realize that I was boring and would lose interest in being with me ... the problem is that Kurt is too kind to say that and break up ... and I, as a coward that I am, can't shake him from this burden. ..