The Bet (SF9 DaBin) ~ Book 1

13 ✔️

"I think we need to talk Juho" Seokwoo said as he sat down beside his best friend for over 7 years.
"Do you really think so?"
"I know that I wasn't fair towards you and I'm sorry but Chanhee needed me. I know that you aren't okay with our relationship but I love him. I'm sorry for not spending time with you and for trying so hard but he really needs a bit of extra care. It's not easy and I don't expect you to understand but my boyfriend needs me and I want to help him the best I can" Seokwoo blurted out, hoping that somehow he could save both, his friendship and relationship.
"I do get that but who said I didn't need you? You just assumed that I'm fine and don't need you. You accuse me of not understanding your type of relationship while I'm just watching from the back and getting my heart broken every single time I look at the two of you together. You said I don't understand that you love another guy, while you were the one dating numerous girls before you met Chanhee, not me. You say he needs you but what about me? You haven't even realized how much I suffered while you were trying to even get him to talk to you. I needed you but you weren't there. I've been always there for you, every time you got dumped by a girl or just used because of your looks. I don't care if I sound selfish, I got my heart broken already so I only want to be selfish this one time to tell you that you abandoned me and not the other way around."
It was too much for Seokwoo to take all of it in at once, he just sat there while staring at the slightly older boy, trying to figure out what exactly he was trying to tell him.
"Chanhee isn't my problem, we're all friends and I don't want that to change but it made me think. While you were dating all of those girls I knew that I never had a chance with you, that you would never even think about dating another man but then you fell in love with Chanhee and I started thinking why him? What does he have what I lack? Is it the fact that he is the only person not admiring your looks? Is it the fact that he makes you run after him? I just can't figure it out and it's driving me crazy and it makes me realize even more that nobody will ever fall in love with me. I really want us to stay friends but I don't really know if I can do this. I love you Seokwoo and not only as my best friend. Your happiness was always my priority but I can't watch you being so in love while I can only watch and suffer even more."
"Juho don't say such things. I never wanted to make you feel hurt or abandon you. I don't even know what exactly is going on right now. You've always been so supportive and encouraged me, you were the one who encouraged me to give Chanhee some time to get used to this situation. Why have you never said anything? How should I have known that you feel this way when you have never told me?" Seokwoo replied, feeling frustrated by the fact that he might lose his best friend.
"Because I didn't want you to know Seokwoo, it's as easy as that. I didn't want you to know how jealous I am of Chanhee. I just didn't want you to feel uncomfortable after knowing how I really feel about you. It definitely changes everything and I'm not sure if I can be so close to you anymore. As I said before it's selfish but I also need to listen to my own heart a bit and in order not to ruin your relationship it's the best to stay away from you."
"You can't just leave like that because you're scared Juho, since when are you such a coward?" Seokwoo sternly replied, noticing the tears in the other's eyes. They just stared at each other for a moment, not needing any words in order to understand each other.
"I can't tell you why it's Chanhee that I love. It just happened and there's nothing I can do about it. Just because you told me everything won't change the way I look at you, you're still my best friend and even if it's hard for you I don't want to lose you. I need you as much as I need my other friends or boyfriend. You mean a lot to me so please don't leave me like that. I promise you that I'll spend more time with you but you can't have any secrets anymore. We promised to never hide anything from each other. I understand if you want to stay away from me but you can't stay away from me forever" Seokwoo pleaded, feeling tears well up in his eyes up as well.
"I need you Juho so please don't do this to me" Seokwoo whispered, the tears rolling down his cheeks as he saw the conflicted gaze in his best friend's eyes.
"I could never leave you forever Seokwoo" the older replied before hugging him, letting his tears roll down his cheeks as he heard his best friend sobbing too.

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I'm soft for Zuwoon's friendship