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"Chanhee how was school? Have you fought with Seokwoo?" his mother questioned as her son stormed through the door.
"No I haven't" he grumbled, not feeling in the mood to tell her everything about his day.
"What happened then? You're everything but happy and you're coming home alone" she carefully asked, trying to get him to talk about everything that was on his mind.
"Nothing happened. I'm just tired frol studying" he lied, forcing a smile onto his face to make her feel better.
"See? It was just a rough day and Seokwoo hyung is spending the weekend with his sister."
"Sorry I was probably overreacting a bit. I'm glad then. Do you want to eat?"
"No I've ate enough in school and I'm too tired. I'll just go to sleep now eomma" Chanhee replied and let himself he hugged by her, walking down the hallway to the bathroom. He knew exactly that she was just worried about him and feared that he would hurt himself again but still he wasn't ready to talk about all the things bothering him. He felt trapped in his own thoughts and mind, it was like he couldn't be happy for a long time. Everytime he thought things were alright and he felt truly happy something inside of his head told him that it was all fake, that he could never be happy. It was this little voice in his head that told him how worthless he was and that nobody wanted him. It was painful, looking into the mirror everyday with a smile while all the sadness was visible in his eyes.
He never wanted to cry, he didn't want to be this weak but everytime he stepped under the shower he felt his tears mixing with the water making them invisible to him. The bathroom was his safe place, so many emotions he felt in there and he could remember all of the times the white tiles were red from all of the blood he has lost. It shouldn't have been happy memories but he could only smile when he remembered this feeling of the blades on his wrist, the stinging pain and the dizziness he felt shortly before passing out. It was addictive to him, an addiction he couldn't cure anymore. Whenever his therapists asked him about it he never told them the truth, hiding his scars as best as he could. He was about to grab a new blade from the package when he heard his mother in the kitchen, knowing that he couldn't. She was already suspicious and he didn't want to see another therapist, so he decided against it. He was getting ready for bed, trying to think about other things.
"Good night Chanhee" his mother called out as she was standing in the hallway, a somewhat sad smile on her face.
"Good night eomma" he replied, forcing a small smile onto his face before walking into his room. He was just lying down, staring at the dark ceiling when he suddenly hear a soft mew.
A few seconds later he felt his little kitten walking up to him and curling up on his chest.
"Has my mother sent you? She's too worried" he mumbled, gently patting the little cat. He didn't know why but somehow he felt calmer whenever the small kitten was with him, snugglikg up to him while purring. Maybe this cat was the best thing that happened to him in a very long time, being able to chase away his bad thoughts by only purring a bit. He was still cuddling with the kitten when he heard his phone buzzing, accepting the call blindly.
"Hm hello?"
"Chanhee-yah I'm sorry for calling you so late but I was worried. You looked so absent-mindedly in school today" Seokwoo answered.
"I was just tired hyun. Don't worry about me" he hummed, smiling when his cat meowed silently, sounding like she still couldn't really do it.
"I can trust you, right?"
"Of course you can trust me."
"Good. I'll better let you go to sleep, you sound tired."
"I am tired. Sleep well hyung" Chanhee replied, his phone almost falling out of his hand at this point.
"Sleep well Chanhee-yah. Hyung loves you."
"I know hyung. I love you too" the younger replied, ending the phone call. There were a lot of things not right in his life but Seokwoo was one of the best things he had. He knew that he couldn't always show or voice it but he truly cherished the older.

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We're close to the end but I needed to include Rochan since the next book will be mostly about them 🥰

The Bet (SF9 DaBin) ~ Book 1Where stories live. Discover now