Grumbo Oneshots

Iron Golem Waifu Rescue (Angst?)

((My adult sibling requested this and uh- This- What do I even title this shit? whomstdvell you acid crackhead- This entire thing is crackhead/nightmare fuel. I don't know what the fuck I just wrote but this is for my iron golem fetish sister... IronGolemMumbo X Grian... Enjoy...?))

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°•Grian's POV•°

A merrily, happy sigh falls past my lips as I stare at Mumbo from behind the glass panes of my window. The bulky iron golem, with a stunning mustache that looks like a black caterpillar along his nonexistent lips, wanders around the small village, as usual.

Simply thinking of him sprouts a kawaii expression on my face. Konichiwa, anime blush UwU

I didn't realize that he looked at me. The sun shining boldly down on his iron build reflects how beautiful he is, his metal muscles shining under the warm illumination of the sun's rays. We engage in a moment of eye contact before I duck down behind my window.

UwU UwU UwU UwU He looked at me!!

I felt my entire world spiral into a panic since he noticed me for once. He saw a glimpse of me but it's embarrassing since I was staring him down and he saw me.

I was ready to stand back up when I suddenly heard a bell. The emergency bell in the center of town is ringing. Useless villagers run into their homes as my epic warrior friends - Doc, Iskall, Wels, False, and some others - head out to the scene.

My eyes gaze out of my window to find sudden pillagers and ravagers breaking innocent people's homes. I gasped, darting my vision across the battlefield before noticing the handsome iron golem with a mustache named Mumbo. He tosses the vicious pillagers into the air because he is amazing and strong like that.

I continue to watch, making sure my wooden door, which is very easy to break, is locked for good. My head rests on my arms as my red sleeved arms lay on the window cobblestone sill. My main focus was on Mumbo as he keeps flinging bad guys into the air.

Omg, he is so handsome. Imagine Mumbo holding me in his strong arms, keeping me protected from all the bad guys as he presses me against his flat iron chest. Despite anime nosebleeds being as fake as Kim Kardashian's lips, I felt some blood dribbling out of my nose.

What if iron golem Mumbo, the most amazing warrior of this village, pins me to the wall? Imagine how big he is under his nonexistent metal pants, sksksk, he must be massive under those white pants.

I mean, they call him Mumbo Jumbo for a reason.

Thinking about it left a waterfall of blood to escape my nose. I didn't even bother cleaning the red puddle because my entire attention is focused specifically on the amazing man.

As I continue to observe the awesome anime battle scene, I watch in horror as the ravages surround Mumbo. All of my friends are knocked down to the ground, leaving the hunk of an iron golem to be alone. The pillagers throw ropes over his steel tough shoulders to pull him down.

I begin to sob as I just watch like a dweeb. They throw a net over his head and they finally yank him down to the grass. His entire body collapses downward before they start beating him up, leaving horrible cracks etched along iron skin.

More painful, agonizing minutes fly by, ticking away. They finally pick up Mumbo and start to head back to their pillager camp. The ravages follow closely behind so Mumbo doesn't have a chance to escape, despite his unconscious, limp body.