Help Calm My Mind

Maybe Change Is A Good Thing

Narrator's POV
    After the longest twenty-four hours of Marinette's life, she finally decided that she wanted to be better. After explaining the bullying, the starving, self-hatred, cutting and her home life from the past six months to Adrien, she felt a huge weight lift off of her shoulders. It was like a building was crushing her and she never knew how much she was struggling to breathe.
    After the whole ordeal Mari made her way to the bakery with Adrien standing right next to her giving Marinette a confidence she forgot she ever had. As Mari made it to the front steps of the bakery she gently smiled to herself as she new that her kitty will always be by her side no matter what.
Marinette's POV
    I took a deep breath and grabbed onto Adrien's hand and I felt a wave of reassurance flow through me when he squeezed my hand back.
    "You can do this Mari, I know you can." He whispered to her and gave her a dazzling soft smile that was meant only for her.
    "It's just... They're already dealing with so much, what if they think I'm selfish for telling them?" This is something that's been nagging at me for the past two hours. What if my parents hate me? Calling me a selfish brat who only thinks of herself.
    "You're their daughter, Mari. They will help you and comfort you. They love you, with all of their hearts." I smiled at him, grateful for his help. As he looked down at me I saw something that looked so familiar in his eyes but I couldn't remember what it was.
    I turned towards the door and took a deep breath. I slowly opened the door and walked in with Adrien in my tow. As we went into the living room I saw them on the couch hugging each other with tears in their eyes. with Adrien's hand still held in mine I opened my mouth to find words to already leave my mouth.
    "M-mom? Dad?" I cringed as I heard my voice waver but I quickly ignored it. As they looked up and saw me their eyes widened. Without giving them a chance to speak, I told them, "This may not be the best timing, but I really need to tell you this and I don't think I'll ever build up enough courage to ever tell you again." They were sitting up now, their full attention towards me.
    "Go on, honey. We're listening." I smiled at finally hearing my mother talk again. It's been so long.
    "I-" I feel Adrien squeeze my hand once again and it gives me all the strength I need for me to continue. "I've been struggling. But then again, I guess we've all had. What I'm trying to say is that I want help. After so long of hiding myself and letting myself drown in darkness, I finally want out. There's so many things that I've done that I regret." Tears were softly rolling down my cheeks and I slowly rolled up my right sleeve to show all the scars. I hear them gasp and I can't find myself to look them in the eyes. "I know I should've told you, but so much was already going on, and I didn't want to burden you as much as I thought I already was. So I resorted to this. And at the time, it felt so good even if I knew it was wrong. Whenever I was stressed or my depression was bad -which I guess was everyday- I resorted to this. I've had so many panic attacks based on things that shouldn't worry me. And I started to hate myself even more. And all that self-hatred went into my body image. So whenever I was introduced to food, I ignored it. Finding the pain of starving comforting. The pain meant I was in control and that's all I ever wanted to be, in control. But I was far from it. Whenever I had to eat, I'd just make myself sick afterwards. It was just a never ending cycle of self-hatred and darkness and I thought I would never be able to get out."
    I finally looked them in the eyes to see that they were crying. The both opened there arms and I instantly fell into them dragging Adrien into the loving embrace as well. I hung on to them like I haven't seen them in years.
    "I understand if you hate me and think I'm selfish." but before I could utter anything else my father quickly spoke out.
    "We would never hate you, we love you. You are our entire world, and we are so lucky to have you in our lives." Hearing those worlds filled me with a warmth and comfort that I haven't felt in so long.
    It was love.
~Two months later~
    A lot of stuff has changed. I see a therapist five times week for two hours now, and I'm grateful for it. I spent six weeks in a mental health hospital doing group and solo therapy. I was put on intensive watch, too. The main purpose was to make sure I don't somehow try to cut myself or throw up. After I was deemed well enough to go home I was put on this therapy. At first I was scared out of my mind, but after awhile of doing therapy, I finally realized how helpful it was and how I could feel myself slowly filling up with life again.
    My parents are doing fine as well. They started to do couple therapy and are on their last week. My mom is still doing therapy for the trauma that she experienced but is doing significantly better. She should be done with therapy sometime in the next three months. I still have a long ways to go though, even though I have become a lot healthier since I started. With that said, I still have my bad days, just like everyone else. Some days It's hard to even look at food, and looking at a blade will give me harsh flashbacks giving me mini panic attacks. But I always make it through those days because I have people that love and care about me. I've accepted that I'm not okay, and even more, I'm okay with that.
    Another thing that's changed is the bullying. It's not like Chloé and I are friends or anything, but she did give me a sincere apology that I accepted. Alya and Nino were really happy that I'm getting help and are really proud of me. Our friendship has only grown since then and I always love watching Alya and Nino fall more in love each day.
    Right now I'm at the bottom of the school steps waiting for Adrien. Today's the day I tell him how I feel about him. After so many years of not telling him and finally going to, I'm not as nervous as I thought I would be. Adrien and I have grown a lot closer since our sleepover two months ago and my love for him has only grown if that's even possible.
    I look up from the ground to see Adrien walking down the stairs. As he makes eye contact with me he lights up and smiles at me. As he walks closer to me I start to feel flutters in my stomach but I'm also excited to finally tell him how I feel. When he stops to look at me he opens his mouth and greets me, "Hey Mari! What's up?"
    "I need to tell you something." Gaining his attention I look up to see the curiosity dancing his eyes.
    "Adrien, I've known you for so long and I'm so happy to have become your friend. But there's something that I haven't told you, and that is that I love you. From the second you gave me your umbrella to the moment we had on the Eiffel Tower, even if I didn't know it was you then. I've loved you every second I've spent with you, in and out of the costume. Adrien, I love you so much that it physically hurts to think of you leaving." After I'm done Adrien embraces me in a tight hug and I quickly wrap my arms around him.
    "I love you too, bugaboo." I smiled as tears of happiness rolled down my cheeks. We loosen up our hug and I feel Adrien's soft hands go to my face and bring me closer to him. I smile and lean even closer, our lips so close to each other. We both lean in more closing the distance between us.
    And we kiss.
    Things are changing and I can't help but think that maybe change is a good thing.

The End

    I hope everyone liked the story! I thank everyone that has read this story, it means the world to me and I'm truly grateful for each and everyone of you.
    I've been brainstorming ideas for new stories so stay tuned!