Trust In Time

Chaper 15: Bad Days

"So tell me all about the art show." Andrew says as he props his feet up on the table next to him.

"Well it was hectic night," I say dryly, "I learned that Emery is pregnant, Ms. Evans might actually like me despite her exterior coldness, and Will, the detective working on my case, spent a fortune on my painting."

Andrew's eyes go big, "No shit? That is certainly a hectic night. However I did t hear a single thing about you in that whole fiasco."

"Well, what about me?"

"How did you feel putting your art work out for the world to see?"

"Um, it was weird. I've never really showed anyone much of my work because I'm always nervous that it's horrible." I say as I start to bite my nails out of habit.

"Who cares if it's horrible?" He asks casually as he takes a sip of coffee.

"I care obviously."

"Mhm why?"

I'm quiet for a second while I think about his simple question, "I guess I don't want people to judge me or think less of me."

"Nora, listen to me when I say this. Your value as a person is so much more than your artwork. That goes with everything else in your life. Your value is more than your past. It's more than your looks. It's more than what your inner voice tells you. You are so much more than one thing."

"Damn you should really write a book with words of wisdom like that." I joke.

He gives a warm smile, "You're changing the subject. I'll let you, I just want you to let that sink in though."

I nod my head, unsure of what I should say.

"So Will, huh?" He questions with a hint of mischief in his tone.

"God you sound like Gray." I roll my eyes, "We're just acquaintances. I have no clue why he'd do that. I mean I barely know the guy and he starts flirting with me and being all nice. It's suspicious." Not that I particularly mind.

"I don't know maybe he likes you. Couldn't that be a possibility instead of immediate suspicion of other intentions."

"There's no way. On a scale of everything he's a whole 10. I'm maybe a 5, and that's being generous."

"Right because a random number from 1 to 10 is an accurate judgement of value." He says with sarcasm oozing out of every fiber of his being.

"It's just an analogy."

"Right well we surely have to work on getting your self-esteem up. You're a great person, I have no doubt in it. You just need to see it for yourself."

"Wouldn't that be the dream?" I'm a smart ass, I can't help it.

"Nora, are you anxious?" Andrew has a concerned look on his face as he takes his feet off the table.

"No, why?" That was kind of a lie. I woke up and knew it was going to be a bad anxiety day.

"You've been biting your nails and your leg hasn't stopped bouncing since you came in here." He hands me a tissue, only when I reach out my hand to take it, do I realize I've chewed my nails so short that they've began to bleed.

"Shit, sorry." I say with embarrassment creeping up as I wipe my fingers with the tissue.

"Don't apologize. You could have said something when you first came in. Do you want to talk about it now?"

"I don't know. I just woke up feeling anxious. I guess everything is kind of really weighing on me today."

"That's okay, you know. It's okay to have bad days."

"Doesn't mean they suck any less though." I hate bad days.

My mother always used to say "bad days just mean that the good days are brighter and full of more appreciation."
I wish I inherited her positive outlook on life, however I'm afraid I've got a lot of my father's: an outlook full of pessimism, fear, and dread.

I shake my head in hopes to get rid of all of thoughts swirling in my head right now. I can't deal with them right now. Not today.

"Why don't we take a break for today? You worked hard. Wanna tell me how excited you are to be an aunt?" Andrew interrupts my inward spiral.

I nod, grateful for the distraction from the noise and chaos that's beginning to rush around my head.

                     •    •    •    •

Once I finished my session with Andrew, I go to the reception desk to make my next appointment. As I'm talking to the receptionist, I hear an awfully familiar voice call my name. I spin around, confused as to who would know me here, only to find Will.

Will?! Why the hell is he here? Shit, do I come up with an excuse? There's no shame in going to therapy, I know that. But what if he questions why I come here. I'm not ready for all that.

He's just looking at me with the same dumbfound face I know I have as well.

"Nora, how's it going?" He asks and I can tell he's unsure what to say. That's a first.

"What are you doing here? Are you following me?" Is all I can manage to get out of my stupid mouth.

"No, I'm not following you. Gosh, Nora, the world doesn't revolve around you." He says with his usual humor and amused smirk back in tact.

"What a shame that it doesn't." I attempt to play into the joke.

"Do you need a ride home?" Is all he asks.

Not 'why are you here?' That's a pleasant surprise.

"Sure, beats the subway, I suppose."

"You took the subway? Nora, haven't I told you a million times to not be alone? You could've called me if you didn't have a ride." He says
with irritation in his voice.

"Gray is at work, and I didn't want to bother Emery. She's kind of, um, sick. I was completely fine, I promise. No need for lecturing."

"Fine." He says with a moment's hesitation, "But don't do it again. You ready to go?"

I nod my head and follow him out to his car. Silence filled the air between us the whole way. He opens the door for me to get in.

"Awe! And they say chivalry is dead?" I say playfully.

"Uh-huh who is 'they'? I'd like to have a talk with them." He chimes back.

He gently closes the door and jogs to the driver's side. Once he gets in, we drive away and are immediately met with a ton of traffic. This isn't good.

I should have stuck with the subway.