She's Suicidal

Chapter 1

School cafeterias are always unnecessarily packed. There's noise everywhere with dumb comments from idiots that think they rule the world. The food here is also just not appeasing, at all. It's frustrating having to come here to get food.

And the eyes ? Ugh. This never does my social anxiety any justice. My heart skips a beat with every pair of eyes I feel weighing on me. I'm pretty much annoyed at how this whole situation gets to me. It's just a bunch of dumb teenagers. My heart and clammy hands , however , are physical proof of how much of a mess I am.

This has been happening to me for as long as I can remember. "Social anxiety" my doctor calls this horrid sickness that haunts me every now and again. It doesn't happen all the time ,just when it feels like it. Some days are better than others. I've learnt to live with it over the years.

I want to look up to confirm the eyes but the last time I  did that - I almost died! Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating just a little but in my defence panic attacks feel a lot like a death experience.

I'm making my way to the best little tree in the world. I always have my lunch here. Its pretty cool and has a little swing set thing going on. Okay , maybe the tree isn't as little as I said.
I found this place after one of my anxiety episodes in English class, 8th grade. I ran out of class and somehow ended up under this tree and we have been inseparable ever since !

I take out my maths homework that was given to us first period and start with it. Rather get it done now and not have to worry about it later. Plus , I have nothing better to do with my lunch time anyway. I'm not a nerd or anything , I generally don't have much to do during this time.

So you're probably wondering where my friends are ? I don't have any and its not because I dont want to have any , I just , well I don't have a reasonable explanation. People here are constantly having such common conversations that bore me. It's always shopping , relationships , and I don't know , whatever else that's boring.

There's a lot more to life than some lame school drama. Like Chemical Romance ! The bomb I tell you. And food and some other stuff.

Soon enough the bell rings and school is over. I ride my motorbike back to my messy house and my best friend Bobby ! Bobby is my dog and the love of my life.

Before you judge me about my messy house, I was late. I overslept and didn't get time to clean up the mess I made last night when I was partying , alone with Bobby obviously. It was

I quickly clean up while jamming to Chemical Romance with Bobby following me around. After some time ,I'm done and Bobby nags for a walk outside. I follow suit , put on my running shoes and off we go.

Bobby found a new friend at the park and I just spent some time with an old lady that kept lecturing me about life and love. She went on and on about forgiveness and finding peace. I'm already done with this day. It was pretty boring in my opinion. Hopefully tomorrow is better!