Psycho Love - Choi San (ATEEZ)

24 - Punishment

"San.. Please..." He ignored my words and lift me in his arms.

He went to the bed and slammed me hard to the bed. He looks like he's been possessed.

I wanted to run away but his body already pressed half of my body. I pushed his body but failed. He's not moving at all. He gripped both of my hands to stop me.

"You want this special relation huh sweetie?" I shook my head but he didn't care.

He pressed his lip onto me and kissing my lips roughly. I wanted to said something but he's like an insane person. He kept kissing me until I'm out of breath. I turned around to breathe in. I feel suffocated.

"San.. Please... Not like this..." He gripped my chin and turned my face to face him and continued kissing me roughly.

He then trailing from my lips to my neck and shoulder. He's kissing and  biting me everywhere. I moaned and growled because it's too painful.

I knew I loved him but not by forcing me. He ignored me even though he knew I didn't want it. I'm not Yeoju the one he loved.

He loosened the towel on my body hardly and crazily kissing all over my body without thinking my feelings at that time. He grabbed my body all over. Tears already building up in my eyes.

As I felt his hand touched between my thighs, I sobbed. I can't hold my tears anymore. I'm so sad he acted this way. I felt embarrassed but he didn't care at all.

He stopped when he heard me crying. He breathe heavily while looking onto my eyes.

"San.. Please let me go.." I cried wanting him to release me.

He collapsed onto my chest and cuddled me.

"I'm sorry Y/N. I thought you want this. Please don't cry. I can't see you crying. I can't see you stay closed to him. You're mine" I didn't replied. I'm very sad what he did to me all this time. Just now was the worst. He didn't care what I wanted to explain to him. I still failed to hold my tears. He pulled up the blanket covering my body and kept hugging me as I still can't stop sobbing.

After a few minutes, I stopped crying and relaxed but that didn't mean I forgave him. I felt my head spinning and dizzy. I didn't wanted to see him in this room.

"Please get out from my room. I need to rest" My voice sounded cold and I didn't faced him but he still tightly wrapping his arm around my waist.

He got up and kissed my forehead.

"Sorry Y/N. I will get back to you again" I neither replied nor looking at him.

My heart already crushed after what he did to me.

I fell asleep as I felt my head very heavy right now.

_______________________________________

I woke up at 8pm and I felt someone held my hand. I turned around and I saw him. He was holding my hand and he slept beside the bed in sitting position. I wanted to pull my hand slowly but failed. He held my hand tightly.

I looked over my body and I already in my pajamas.

"Is he putting me the clothes?" I turned around and staring at him for a moment.

"Sorry San. I will have to leave you after this. My heart already break and I don't want you to torture me again. I love you but maybe now is not right time for us. I think this time I have to go far from you. You didn't wanted to hear me at all" I hold my tears while staring at him.

He moved a little bit and lift his head from my bed.

"You already woke up my dear?" I didn't looked to him.

Why now he wanted to said sweet things to me after all he did to me.

"Did you put the clothes on me?" He nodded.

"I wanted to wake you up but you seems tired and not really well so I just put the clothes on to you" I smirked.

"I'm not well because of WHO" I emphasised the word "who" to his face. I wanted him to know how sad, mad and frustrated I am to him.

"Please Y/N. Let's not talk about that again. I will not do that again. I'm sorry" His words didn't placed in my heart at all

"You just said sorry after what you did but you never knew how I felt or hurt by what you did. I'm not a property and like I said we've never been in a relationship. You just need me as a punching bag or medicine. Not as a person" My voice shaken as I said that to him.

"Please Y/N. Please understand my feeling. I didn't mean it. I love you" I paused a little bit as he said that. This is the first time he said he loved me. But unfortunately his confession not making any placed in my heart now.

"You just said love to me only for me to stay and monitor you. Please get out from here San. I don't want to talk about this right now" My hands already shaken and I felt my tears in my eyes could bursted anytime soon.

"Y/N please forgi..." I cut his words.

"I'm not your Yeoju okay! You can go to her if you want. I'm not the one who you should said you love to" I brace myself to let it out. I'm tired of all this things.

San didn't answered back. He didn't looked angry or furious this time. He released my hand and got up. He left my room but with his last words.

"Forgive me Y/N" He then leaved my room.

Tears falling down to my cheeks and I cried thinking about why this is happening to us.

Sorry San... I have to leave you. I just can't stand this.