Psycho Love - Choi San (ATEEZ)

32 - Why

Cold sweat already rushes down my spine as I heard the name. I didn't knew what to do. Should I leave from here or stay. Yunho next to me suddenly held my hand for a while as giving strength to me. I just let it be. My mind is not functioning well right now.

He appeared from behind the stage and walked next to Mr. Choi. I just looked at him afar from my table.

I saw him...

After all this 1 year I got to see him again.

He looked different. He looked confident like a nobleman. Not like a man I used to know in the past. Timid. Quiet. He's different now. I could tell it from my eyes.

His hair got white streak at the upper part and his expression is calm yet shows high determination that can dominate the world.

Cameraman and medias already full at the front of the stage wanting to capture this moment.

Mr. Choi pulled his hand showing to the podium as a sign for him to have a short speech.

He walked to the podium and grabbed the mic slowly. He smiles showing his straight teeth. Some girls voices could be heard in the hall as they captivated by his beauty.

That smile. How I missed it.

As he began to speak, my heart beating like crazy.

"Good evening everyone. It's so lovely to be here on this stage to join with all of our friends here..." He calmly spoke which it was an extraordinary for me. He didn't slip his words at all. Is he the same person I know before?

He nearly ended his speech but my heart beating like crazy like it will burst anytime soon as our eyes met for a while.

"Let's do our best together and be prepared for the worst" He ended his speech as he emphasized that 'worst' word when his stare stopped at my direction for a while. I quickly looked down not wanting him to recognize me. The audience laughed at his small joke.

"After then enjoy the part tonight" He turned his face to the audience and bowed. The audiences clapped as celebrating him.

 "Is he looking at me just now?" I questioned myself but I tried to think maybe it was only my imagination. He must not recognized me now. Maybe he was looking to Yunho.

"I'd better get going now" I tried to stand but Mr. Choi already came to our table to sit. I saw him followed Mr. Choi from behind wanting to take a seat.

"What's the matter Y/N. We have more shows not to be missed" Mr. Choi asked as he got curious why I stood up.

I sit again on my seat but my eyes look to him for a short moment. He didn't react or care to see or talk to me. He just took his seat next to Mr. Choi and just looking to the stage. He's different now. Maybe he didn't recognized me. 

Somehow my feelings feel sad about it because we're both acting like a stranger but maybe it's a good thing for both of our sake. Our last meeting last 1 year only ended with pain and sadness.

As the show still going on, I quickly got up and went to the washroom. I felt suffocated as the show went on as sometimes my eyes caught on him. Even though we sit far from each other but because of the big round table he's still in my vision.

I went to the washroom located downstairs.

I turned on the water tap washing my hands as I'm not knowing what to do now. I looked to the mirror seeing my reflection.

"Why would he be here? Why I'm running away?" I tried to calm myself down. I sighed and just be in the washroom for 5 minutes without reasons.