Behind The Camera

Chapter Four.

Pel's POV:

I watched Tee pull off and watched her drive around the corner, before I pull my beanie back on my head and start walking to the studio. I had this feeling in the bottom if my stomach and it was the feeling of guilt, the guilt eating me up for not being honest with her, but right now i just felt like i couldn't be honest with her. "Oh my god is that Perri?" I hear a females voice shout as i turn a corner, i look up and smile at them. "Oh my god can i please have a picture? I love Diversity" She says, running over. i nod my head, "Sure but then I've got to get to the studio, Ash will kill me if I'm late" I chuckle, smiling at the phone as she takes a photo. "Thank you so much!" She replies before she runs off to catch up with her friends. This is why i couldn't tell Tee. She doesn't seem like someone who could handle this pressure, but she was different. She made me feel things i didn't know i could feel, she made me feel normal. The kiss kept spinning around my head, maybe it shouldn't of happened, but it felt right.

I walk into the studio, Danielle ushering a quick 'hello' whilst she was on the phone, i give her a quick wave and a smile before heading on into the studio. "Oh Romeo, Romeo where art thou Romeo" Jordan chuckles as i walk in and pull of my jumper. "Shut up will you" I mutter, pulling off my beanie. "So how did it go bro? any juicy details" Mitch asks walking over. i roll my eyes, first time out with a female in a while and it's all they want to talk about. These guys had it so easy, they didn't understand the feelings I felt or the emotions i felt about myself. i felt like people just seen me as the thirteen year old boy who had won Britain's Got Talent, it was like i never grew up, the Peter Pan of our generation.

"His blushing, our Pels blushing" Jordan taunts, i roll my eyes. "Seriously Bro, what happened" Mitch asks, pushing my shoulder. I look at him and smirk, before looking back down to the floor, looking at my apparently fascinating shoes. "We kissed" I mumble. "YOU WHAT?!" Mitch shuts, dragging me over to a corner, Jordan and Ashley all surrounding me. "You kissed her? So she took the news of who you are well then?" Mitch asks, a massive smile on her face. "You did what?" Ashley chuckles. I roll my eyes. "I didn't tell her, the timing just wasn't right" I mutter. "So you're telling me you've kissed a girl, you've actually kissed a girl who doesn't know who you are?" Jordan asks. I nod my head. "Where has she been living for the past 10 years?" Jordan mumbles. "I honestly don't know" I whisper. I honestly didn't know how she didn't already know, it would soon be the talk of campus if it wasn't already and i knew i needed to tell her before she found out from someone else because i knew that would kill her. "When are you going to tell her then? or are you just going to let her see you on Dancing On Ice on Sunday?" Mitch chuckles. "Don't think she watches that else she would know wouldn't she" Ashley states. His hands on his hips. "I will tell her, i'm seeing her again tomorrow" I whisper. "Well Pel you know you need to, and you need to fast" Ashley says putting his hand on my shoulder. I nod at him, giving him a small smile indicating i knew what he was saying. "So now lets get back to throwing you around I've got a new idea and i really think this one will work" Ashley claps as all of us groan. "Do i need a helmet?" I mutter as we walk to the mirrors. Ashley and Jordan laughing at me.

--

It was gone midnight when i finally walked into my flat, only just checking my phone.

"Can we talk? if you're not busy.. Feel like I've got no one"

i would be lying if i said my heart wasn't beating out of my chest, every thought possible filling my head. i don't even bother texting back, i just call her number.

It rings a couple of times before her sleepy voice fills the phone. "Tee? Are you okay? I've just read your message" I whisper, not completely sure why i'm whispering as no one else is here. "Me and Stacey argued" She whispers back, her voice shaking, making me instantly wish i was with her. "What about?" I ask, leaning back on the sofa, getting comfortable. "About you" She mumbles. My eyes go wide, did Stacey know? "What do you mean about me" i chuckle, but the worry was evident in my voice. "She just went on about how i don't need a relationship right now, she didn't even listen to me" She mumbles. A relationship? i mean i hadn't't really thought about where things would go with Tee, i knew she was different, and i felt like i did truely like her, but i had never had a relationship, i wouldn't know where to start. "So you want a relationship with me" I whisper, a small smile playing on my lips. "I did not say that" She says a bit louder. "But she hasn't come home, i assume she's staying at her boyfriends, but we have never argued before" She whispers, a small sniffle following her words making me feel upset that they even argued about me. "i'm sure you will work things out" I whisper, a yawn following my words. "Have you only just got back? you never text" She mumbles. "I know, i'm sorry, rehearsals just got hectic" I mutter. "Rehearsals for what?" She asks. Shit. I shouldn't have said that. "Oh, just like rehearsing stuff I've done" I mutter. "Did i wake you?" I ask changing the subject. "Yeah, it's fine, thanks for checking in on me" She whispers but i can hear the smile in her voice, making me smile. "I'll see you tomorrow?" She asks, hopeful, I nod my head and then realize she cant see me, "Yeah, of course i'll text you in the morning" I reply. "Night Pel" She whispers, yawning. "Night Tee" I smile as i hang up the call.

"How am i going to tell her?" I mutter as Barry nuzzles next to me on the sofa.

---

"So where are you meeting her?" Jordan asks, passing me a water bottle. "I honestly don't know, her and her best friend had an argument about me last night, but i rang her and she never said anything so i don't think she knows, but i now need to know what they argued about because if her best friend knows its not going to be long till her best friend tells her which means i am basically fucked" I mutter, tugging on the beanie I'm wearing, "Well that was a rant and a half, but i still stand by the fact you need to tell her, and tell her soon" Ashley says, sitting down next to us on the studio floor. "Why don't you take her to the park this afternoon?" Jordan says, before taking a sip of his water. "Open space though, its not as risky as a milkshake bar" Ashley shoots me a glare "But its still risky" He continued. "Why don't you just bring her here, then we all get to meet the girl who's caught Perri's eye" Jordan says wiggling his eyebrow, i hit him in the arm and roll my eyes. "Hey was just an idea" He mumbles, rubbing his arm. "Plus we have rehearsals for the show tomorrow" Ashley states, "And i need you there, i need to get this lift nailed" Ashley states. I nod my head, his right. As much as i needed to tell Tee and figure out what we was preforming came first, dance would always come first, well that's how i used to think anyway. The more i danced away, and put emotions into the dance, the more i just wanted to be with Tee. "But if you need the time to think and work it out do it, i'm not going to stand in the way of it" Ashley states, giving me a smile. "I'll be back later" I mutter as i run out of the studio, slowly working out how i was going to tell her, i had to do this the right way, and that meant talking to someone who would know what to say, someone who would know what advice to give me. My Mum.