Behind The Camera

Chapter Forty.

When I arrived at the studio I wasn't fully sure I wanted to go in, everything was in haze, everything felt slow motion. I pull my phone out, noticing a new notification from the College News page, I hadn't really played attention to anything they had posted the last week, feeling like It didn't even matter anymore.

"Tee Smith running away with boyfriend, is this a fresh start?" My eyes skim over the article, not really caring what they were saying.

"Tee Smith and Perri Kiely are due to depart to America for some time, Perri is going on business, but why is Tee going? Does she really trust her man? Is it a free holiday? or are things not as good as they make out here in England"

I roll my eyes, short and sweet but to the point. I gather the courage to walk in to the studio. As I walk in I see Nathan and Ashley talking at the reception desk. "Hey" I whisper, both of them turning to face me. "Tee" Nathan exclaims, running and hugging me. I smile and laugh, I was going to miss this. "Pels in the studio with the others if you want to go in" Ashley smiles at me, giving me a small hug. I shake my head 'no' "If its alright can I just have a minute" I whisper. "Why don't you come with me?" Ashley says, smiling, indicating to go down the hallway. I nod my head, following him down the hallway to the room that had started everything. "When everything get's too much for me, I come here, it just grounds me" He states, opening the door for me. It hadn't changed since I had last stepped in here. All the photos still overwhelmed me, each one different, each different one telling a different story, but all with the same outcome, a small group of people who achieved their dreams because they believed.

I walk over to the smaller part of the wall and look at all the id air flip photo's that had been caught of Perri. I run my fingers over them. "It's okay to have doubts" Ashley whispers, standing behind me, his hand on my shoulder. "I feel like I am living his dream, not mine" I whisper, my eyes not leaving the photo. "It's still not too late to say you don't want to go" He whispers, giving my shoulder a comforting squeeze. I shake my head 'no' "It would kill him" I whisper, removing my eyes from the photo's in front of me. "Not being honest will kill you both" He whispers.

Ashley was right. That was the harsh truth, If I wasn't true to myself, who even was I? I felt like everything had got mangled in the process of me and Perri and maybe I had lost sight of the bigger picture, maybe I had lost sight of who I was. I wouldn't change anything though, I loved Perri, he loved me. But the doubts would always be there, a picture said a thousand words, but you never seen what happened behind the camera, only ever what's in front of it.

I take a deep breath and walk with Ashley to studio one, walking in and seeing Perri in a group huddle with the boys. This was his life, this is what he was used to, he was used to a different city every night, leaving home for periods of time and coming back like nothing had ever changed. "Tee" Jordan shouts, running and picking me up. "Hey" I chuckle as he spins me around. "I'm going to miss you" I mumble, as he places me back on the ground. "You have my number, i'm, only going to be a phone call away, plus Ashley's scored us some shows there in a couple of weeks" He smiles, bringing me in for a hug. I nod my head, Sam and Mitchell walking over to me. "It feels like five minutes ago you entered this studio hating him" Sam chuckles, bringing me in for a hug. "Now you've both grown up and are going in the big wide world" Mitch murmurs, hugging me. I nod my head, he was right, two months ago I would of said I hated Perri, I would of said I wanted nothing to do with him again, but here I was, moving half away across the world with him. Warren and Nathan walk over to me. "I'm not going to say anything because i'll cry" Nathan says, hugging me, trying his hardest not to cry. Warren just nods and smiles, a man of little words. I look over to Perri who had been crying, it was obvious, I knew him. I walked over to him, bringing him into a hug. "Hey" I whisper. "Hey" He whispers back, kissing my head. "I've said my goodbyes to Stacey, everything's in my car" I whisper, the realisation that I wouldn't be going back home now setting in. "Mum's coming to get Barry later on tonight" He whispers. I nod my head. I was going to miss Barry.

----

"So, I thought we could order Pizza, watch a film and get an early night" Perri whispers, putting his arms around my waist in his kitchen. I nod my head, not really sure of what to say, or what to do, everything flying around my head. "I know this is scary but we're going to get through it, we can do anything together" He whispers, kissing my temple. I nod my head. "Yeah, just emotion overload isn't it" I chuckle.

It wasn't long before me and Perri was lay in his bedroom, for once it was spotless. Perri wasn't an overly messy person anyway but everything that had a place was in a place, some of this clothes were placed in storage boxes, his spray's all boxed up. We was only taking a weeks worth of things with us, we thought it would be easy to ship some stuff out when we had settled, or buy new. I take a glance at the photos of his family that were sat proudly on the table near his TV. I think about how this is everything they had ever known, how this was normal to them. It wasn't too long before I fell asleep to Perri playing with my hair, everything going away with his touch.

That morning when I woke up, I felt sick. I had a headache, and I didn't want to eat anything, which made me know I was stressed. Was this really the right thing? the right timing?

I pick my phone up and scan over my notifications, Perri wasn't in the room so he must of been downstairs, or in the shower.
"Moving Day for lovebirds" One article reads.
"Is Tee making the right choice" Another reads, almost like its reading my thoughts.
"Perri spotted with another female on night of wrap party, is this the real reason as to why they are moving?"

I click on that one. That was news to me.

"Perri Kiely was spotted in the arms of another at the Dancing on Ice wrap party, images uploaded below. These images surfaced to the internet over night, no one seeing them before. No one seems to know who the mysterious girl is, but we can confirm that is isn't Tee Smith as she was at home during the final and couldn't make it, doing a sweet tribute to Perri with her family before watching the show. Eye witnesses to the party say that Perri was quiet and contained, not talking to anyone other than his Diversity co-workers. Is the real reason they are moving to America to get away from a female coming to take Tee's man?"

I scoff, yeah right. I grab my grey jacket, and pull it on over my white vest, wearing my ripped skinny jeans, I wasn't dressing to impress today, I was dressing for comfort on a however long plane journey I was on. I skip to the kitchen, trying my best to ignore the sick feeling I my stomach. "Morning" I say to Perri, kissing his cheek. "Morning" He sings back, his in a good mood. He was wearing his Justin Bieber Purpose hoodie with some black trackies, his hair was up in a bun, he looked so good. I look him up and down, smiling at the thought that this person was my boyfriend, he was all I needed.

"I thought we could grab breakfast at the airport? we've got two hours before we have to check in" He whispers, kissing my head. "How about we do an Instagram live?" I whisper, he looks at me like I've gone out of my mind. "It's weird, I know, but hear me out" I chuckle, bringing him to the sofa in the living room and sitting down. "There's a lot of negativity flying around right now, I just want the chance to be able to shut that down, clarify to your fans that you haven't left Diversity, that we are okay, that they girl at the wrap party wasn't anything to worry about" I say, whispering the last part. "Okay, half an hour" He says, pulling his phone out, loading Instagram up and pressing the live button.

Instantly, there's comments and hearts flooding the screen. "Moving day" Perri says, smiling at the camera. He points the camera at me, and I give a small smile and a wave. "So, we're all packed up, we leave in a few hours" He smiles, his eyes scanning over the comments quickly. "Were staying in a hotel?" I say, but ask looking at Perri. "Yeah, i'm not going to say which one for obvious reasons but yeah, were going to Georgia" He smiles, holding my hand. Were going to Georgia repeating in my head. "So, me and Tee have been together now for around a month?" He asks, looking at me. "Feels like a lot longer" I chuckle. "I don't think I would want to do this with anybody else no" Perri chuckles, reading comments, whilst my mind drifted to elsewhere.