Scratches On My Gravestone

| Submerged Sensuality |

My soul lies down in silence,
Whispers quiet under deep waters of shame.
Bitter bubbles of breath;
These stones tied to my neck are nothing to you.

I hear your eyes close with indifference.
I watch them say, It's all the same.

My drowning heartbeat feels no more pain,
Marinating in the beauty of brokenness,
In the sorrow of your stain.

Addiction tells me I don't have a choice.

My song is a lost, little child.
She wanders dangerously,
Tottering treacherously between you and I,
Dancing on the edge of your voice.

The flame of your words burn into my skin
Over and over and over and over.
I commit myself to my sin,
To the price I payed for loving you.
The taste of your lips bleeds onto my tongue.

It hurts.

My damaged nerves forget their senses.
Repentance becomes a sacrifice to your expenses.
Your toxicity chokes my sanity.

My fragile frame shakes and trembles.
It screams, Why don't you care?
You simply smile at me sadly,
Consuming my mourning misery,
Troubling torment to tender torch,
Like ecstasy caught in a poisoned snare.

And I hate you.

Control can't recall its way back to my head.
I can't stop my hands from holding on,
Even though I want to.

Touch me, my spirit begs desperately.
False intimacy makes up my essential nature,
Your body's warmth worn wrongly.
I bear it as the face of my identity,
Salty sweat of lust savored intemperately.

Warned wanting need inside the heat,
Moistening above my shivering spine,
Traveling beneath sadistic fingertips,
Intensity rising in moans of frustration - !

Stop.

If only to have this moment,
I make the shadow of your apathy,
Turn it into my inspiration.

And yet, I can't stand it!
No - wait.
I mean, I can't stand you.
Yes, I despise you.
Desire slams into me forcefully.

I have to let you steal it away;
I hand it over gratefully.

Living in the depths of your ocean,
I'm forced to connect with fatality,
Your sexual brutality.
And this is all I can give you.
And this is all you'll accept.

I plead for you to take me.