Scratches On My Gravestone

| Somnambule |

Your hands: heavy poison, intoxicating smoke in my eyes,
Blinding me; Choking on your foolish love, I still fantasize
That I'm alive, and maybe I just let my soul disappear
Maybe that's why I'm always trusting what you want me to hear

Listen to sadistic songs over and over and over
Don't hold back your screams anymore, let the whimpers takeover
Never washing out the stain of torture bleeding on my tongue
I'm addicted to the fever heat that's still keeping me young

And every single night, hunger rumbles through you, and I pray,
Asking the Lord to take away every word I have to say
Under the sheets, I feel your voice whispering into my brain,
Oh my God, this stupid bitch is driving me fucking insane

Your hands are heavy poison, I can't escape the narcotic
Effect you have on me, the bitter taste, something chaotic
This apathetic attitude is forcing me to disown
The lingering heartache that swallowed me in drowning alone

I can't do it, I can't stop, I can't abandon this feeling
Every piece of my clothing gets shorter, I keep revealing
How much pain you gave me, with every ugly scar you made me
A little more like the monster I'm afraid of becoming

I'm not alive, my heart is empty and I'll lie every time,
Seeing my reflection in the eyes of a "victimless crime"
It's too late now, past remorse, like you I'm forgetting myself
Is there a moment you don't regret doing that to yourself?

Your hands are a heavy something I can't even remember,
Weakened heartbeat freezing over in the midst of December,
Broken clocks sacrifice ungodly hours to a lost time frame
Sympathy fades, the lack of your presence erases my name

Stepping in every shadow, stumbling over my restless dreams,
The lethargic atmosphere caving in on my self-esteem
I don't have nightmares, anxious, barely breathing, I live in them,
Floating away, bathing in a sticky sweetness called mayhem

Every sad shade of red becomes another one of your charms
Until I let myself relax, I fall asleep in your arms,
Wake up cold, sweating, swallowed in the dark - suddenly, you're gone
Where do I go? I can't survive without your heart to feed on

You're heavy on my chest, your abuse won't stop weighing me down
Friends are waiting for me to get over this nervous breakdown
So many years went by, but here I am, still trying to breathe
In the bed of lies the monsters in my mind hide underneath

Bury me with the blame, bury me in shame, leave me for dead
You get to walk out of my life, but won't get out of my head
The stigma is always on your side, you keep getting your way,
And nothing I do can change that, but at the end of the day

You sicken me, deceit pushing me across a dirty line
Send me into overdrive and make my body redefine
The meaning of what the curdling blood in my cold veins forbid:
Your corruption in this prison, my home behind closed eyelids,

Your hands, heavy poison, intoxicating smoke in my eyes,
Blinding me; Choking on your foolish love, I still fantasize
That I'm alive, and maybe I just let my soul disappear
Maybe that's why I'm always trusting what you want me to hear