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I remember the funeral so vividly.
It was a rainy Sunday morning at the graveyard. I don't like the graveyard. No one likes the graveyard. Rin's brothers Dean and Ryan dug and dug, while I cried and cried. Not only at the fact that Rin was now gone, but his friends weren't even there. Brianna wasn't there. The girl he loved wasn't there. It was only me. Like it's always been. I've been the only person there for Rin like he was there for me.
I don't get it. Why must it rain every time someone dies? Is it a sign? A sign that the world is there too? It really is like that. The world is bidding farewell for many people. I couldn't even bid farewell. So I walked home after a while, napkin in my hand, crying.
I don't go in graveyards anymore.
It'll just rain.
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I am wearing one of my favourite dresses. It was my mother's. I told Luna I wanted to be alone, so she obliged and left for class. I don't even have class anymore. I dropped out without anyone knowing. Like anyone cares anyway. I walked a long way just to go to the mall, but now I don't know what to do. I don't go out often.
I am now sitting in a cafe with a hot chocolate. I like it here, because it's small and quite empty. Just me, the clock ticking, and my endless loneliness. How fun. If my friends were here they'd do everything they could to cheer me up. I now get death threats from them though. I guess they're hurting just as much as I am. Because they know I'm not to blame and it's pissing them off.
My hot chocolate has now gone cold.
I want to go home. To my real home. When I was happy. When you are happy, you know there's no place like home. But for me, there is literally no place like home. I don't have one. Because I'm not happy. I'm walking now, but guess what?
It's raining.
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