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The day after the incident, I tried to call Brianna. She answered. She told me it was all my fault, even though I wasn't the one who shot him. She made me believe it was my fault.
I kept telling her that I was sorry, and that he would live. But what she told me next was that Rin couldn't make it. Rin took a bullet through the head, whereas I took a bullet through the heart.
That's when everyone stopped talking to me.
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After Luna's outrage, I stopped talking to her. I am angry at her, even if it doesn't seem like it. She noticed, and stopped trying to talk to me. It was as if we don't know each other. I am fine with it, but there is one thing I'm not fine with.
My notebook. She has it. I need it. My notebook is how I unleash my feelings, good or bad. Last time I saw it was last morning. I wish I had the power to lash at her like she did to me, but it's okay. I am used to it.
"I'm so sick of living like this Rose. Talk to me." So I talk to her. "Give my notebook back." Luna shook her head in denial, "No." I was getting angry. "I said, give. Me. The. Notebook. Please. I can't live without it." Luna finally gave it to me, but when I opened it, it was empty. All my thoughts, my cries, my anger, my happiness. All gone. She had ripped out every page. "I can explain." I am crying now. "I don't want you to explain, you cruel person."
I just went to bed early, clutching the notebook in my hands.
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