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Everytime I spoke to Rin, he would look into my eyes. He would read me like an open book. He'd tell me that everything would be okay, and that we would be friends forever. He understood why I was hurting, but he didn't understand the real reason. He didn't even know the real reason why.
Loving him was my reason and I couldn't stop. I'd get angry at him sometimes, dropping the best hints I could. I then knew to stop. I just stopped trying. I try and try again, but not for everything. If only he was still alive, then I think he would be able to understand.
I wish I told him the truth.
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In the car ride home, Luna got angry at me. She held onto the wheel tightly as she said, "I think you should drop out of school." I wonder why she said that. I don't want to argue with her. I don't want to lose her too.
"Why does me being in school concern you?" I ask. She stops at a gas station. "Because you don't even care about school! Everyday I'm getting complaints! It's not funny - just stop. I can't get out of lessons because you want me to!" She shouted. I decided I want to stay silent. She will come around.
"Oh Rose, I'm sorry for getting angry. School has been such a handful lately, I-". I held out my hand to tell her to stop. People never blame themselves, do they? Well I know when to blame myself. And I know I should blame myself now. I should just stop. I should just drop out of school. I am a nuisance to everything.
But I just can't.
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