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The day after I nearly died, Luna got me into therapy and counselling. I remember my therapist asking me why I wanted to die. "Because I'm not happy." I told her. She kept writing and writing, as if I was so interesting. I'm still not interesting. "But why are you unhappy Rose. Can you tell me why?" I was getting flashbacks to the incident, the funeral, everything. So I said, "Everything."
My therapist was confused, "Everything what?" I felt myself get lost in a world of sadness. "Everything makes me unhappy. Everything hurts. Everyone hates me. I have no one. So everything hurts." My therapist sighed.
"Rose, I don't know if you really care about this information, but I have to diagnose you with clinical depression. You're also an extreme insomniac. Would you like some antidepressants? I can give you a prescription." I knew that I was depressed and I still am. I don't take antidepressants either. They make me feel weak. So after a while I stopped going to therapy and counselling.
It just made me feel more sad than I already am.
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I am at Brianna's funeral right now. Her father just made a speech about how she had grown so much, yada yada. I wasn't even invited, but I knew I had to come. I am in line, waiting to 'talk' to her or however that works. I know Rin's death had something to do with her death. Funny how the man that shot Rin isn't even locked up. Oh, it's my turn. I know exactly what to say, and she'll hear me from either hell or heaven.
"Hi Brianna. It's been a while since we spoke, isn't it? A year and a day, approximately. I wish you could talk to me right now because it'd help a lot. I know you loved Rin. You'd always talk about him when he wasn't around. Guess what though? Rin felt exactly the same. He loved you too and I bet he still does. Thing is, I never told you. I never told you because I indeed love him. Just like you. But it doesn't matter now, does it? You're both dead." The woman behind me told me to hurry up.
"You're still my best friend Brianna, and you always will be. No one can change that. I Love you.
Goodbye."
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