the fifth

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It is 7.30 pm.
Currently, I am walking home. A dude passes by. He is extremely handsome.
I look at him, but he doesn't realize me being there.
But then, our eyes meet.
My heart flutters.
He smiled at me.
It was only for a second, but I can not forget him the whole evening.
When I wake up the next day, he crosses my mind again. This smile was so beautiful.
Yes, strangers always smile when passing by.
It's not that I feel special now.
It's him. He seemed to be special. And he was so handsome.

I hope I will see him again.

Today, it's sunday. And it is warm outside. Freetime!
I choose to wear a skirt and little cute accessoires today.
But what am I supposed to do? I can not forget this guy.

So I think of him while reading, think of him while listening to music, think of him while my dad is shouting at me. I think of him while taking a shower and I am wondering about where he lives. I think of him while looking out of the window and I am wondering if he might pass by again.

What is wrong with me?
 I seriously need a crush or anything similar to that.
Maybe also some friends.

So I dress up and want to go outside. I want to go to a club, so I ask my dad for money.
"Son of a bitch, you won't get anything."
"Now you said that mom is a bitch"
"She is not, but you are. You are disgusting!"

Girls are disgusting.
And so am I, I guess.

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