Torn: A B5 Story

Plus Signs

"It's positive Jules. It's freaking positive!" Katie screamed while she weeped quietly.

I didn't know what to say. My body was in as much shock as her mind was and even though I wasn't pregnant, I could feel the weight that had just been placed on her shoulders.

She sunk to the corner of the bathroom, her head muffled in her legs. Seeing her body shake and gasp for breath broke me down little by little. I didn't know what to do.

I sat on the floor beside her and smoothed her dirty blonde hair back. There were only a hand full of times that I've seen her like this and that was years ago. Her parents divorce was tough on her. Besides that, Katie was always the strongest of us two. Her confidence and her optimism on just about everything reminded me that life wasn't just about business all of the time.

Her sobbing was calming down and transferring into shorter breaths.

"Katie?" I said.

She didn't respond.

"I know nothing makes sense right now but we are going to figure this out together. You have to believe that. I don't care what happens, I'm not going anywhere. Whatever decision you make, I'm gonna be right there behind you to back you up and support you." I said trying not to cry myself.

"You gotta remember that you're the strong one and you haven't faced anything yet that you couldn't overcome." I continued.

She lifted her head and wiped the tears and snot from her face. Stress was creeping in and I could see it all over her face.

I got up and lifted her off of her feet.

"Go take a hot shower and try to relax." I told her.

She nodded and headed for her room.

I peered down at the test and the pregnancy box, wrapped it up and disposed of it. It didn't change much, but it would remove the reminder from out of sight.

I went downstairs and decided to skip dinner and make dessert. Chewy, fudge brownies with vanilla ice cream were Katie's favorite and I hoped it would cheer her up as much as possible. She needed me and I was going to to my best to be there for her like she always was for me.

I had a difficult time falling asleep that night but when I did my dreams were black. I felt so empty sleeping. Waking up in the morning did not make it any better. Katie was still in her pajamas lying on the couch staring into open space.

"Good morning." I said examining her face.

Her eyes were very puffy and swollen. I wanted to fix this but I knew I couldn't.

"Morning." She said not even looking at me.

"Want some tea?" I asked.

"No." She said.

"Wanna talk about it?" I asked.

"No. I just need some space right now Jules to think and process everything. I'm sorry but I just want to be alone." She said wiping her eyes.

"Okay, just let me know if you need anything." I said trying to sympathize.

With Katie separating herself from me I was by myself again. I was unsure of where to to place my mind without feeling like I had no control of anything in my life. My thoughts floated back to Patrick and I began to miss him even though that post made me angry.

I decided to take a shower and then go for a walk. Even though it was cold, the sun was shining and I felt some oxygen would be good for my body.

I went to the park and decided to sit on the swings. It was absolutely beautiful out and I felt a sense of peace just being alone with my surroundings. Aside from a couple of elementary school aged kids playing with their parents, the environment was serene.