Torn: A B5 Story

Its Complicated

Waking up with Kaloub beside me felt strange. I used to love feeling his body heat and experiencing his touch was partly what I lived for. Where did that feeling go? Have I fallen for Patrick so hard that my feelings for him have surpassed Kaloub in such a short time. I did not love Patrick though. I loved Kaloub and have always loved Kaloub from the moment I looked at him senior year of high school. Someone told me that there was a difference between being in love with someone versus just loving someone. Maybe I wasn't in love with Kaloub anymore. I haven't known Patrick long enough to say I love him but could there be a possiblity that if I was here any longer it could happen? I did not want to think about having to choose who I wanted more and I could not imagine ever hurting Kaloub. He was my other half and always would be. At least I hoped he would be.

Kaloub rolled over on his side and looked at me.

"Good morning beautiful. It feels great getting to wake up to your face again." he said smiling.

I smiled and kissed his forehead.

"Good morning handsome." I said as a sat up.

He let out a yawn and a stretch and looked at the clock.

"12:30 in the afternoon. Damn. I haven't slept in like this in awhile." He said and arose from the bed.

I picked up my phone off of the dresser and looked at my messages. Still nothing from Pat but Kelly had sent me a message an hour ago. It asked if we were still coming later and if we could bring some sort of snack for the party. I sighed and replied back saying yes and said I would bring chips and dip.

Katie knocked on the door.

"Are you guys decent?" She asked.

"Nope, I got her bent over." Kaloub said laughing.

I shot him a look and he started giggling.

"Come in Katie, he's just being a perv." I said looking at my closest.

She stepped in and flicked off Kaloub.

"I need help picking out what to wear." She said turning to me.

"Great minds think alike because I have no idea myself. There's not much to work with considering that it's cold out." I said, shuffling through my clothes.

Kaloub grabbed a towel and headed for a shower obviously not wanting to get involved in this dilemma.

"Finally he's gone! I was thinking my cut out jeans, that tight, black, long sleeve shirt, and my brown leather jacket to go with my boots." she said looking at her belly in the mirror.

Her face seemed less bright.

"I mean, I might as well enjoy it while I can." she said.

I punched her arm playfully.

"We will cross that bridge when we get there." I said, recalling what my mother used to tell me.

She smiled at me and went back to her room.

By time I finished getting dressed I decided on a fitted black sweater dress with tights underneath and my black boots. I decided to straighten my curly hair for the first time in a year and realized how much it had grown. I loved the way the it flowed and outlined my face. For once in a long time, I felt pretty. By time I was done it was 4 o clock and everyone was dressed to leave. The closer 5 o' clock came, I became increasingly more nervous.
I could feel my heart in my throat every time I thought about having to look Patrick in the eye.

"Babe, you ready?" Kaloub asked.

He looked so handsome when he was freshly shaven and all dressed up.