Kylo Ren / Ben Solo oneshots

Kylo Ren - His Eyes Softening

Author's Note: Welcome back everyone! It's been a hot minute since I've written anything, but I'm back now and I'm taking requests again! (I have not seen Rise of Skywalker yet, but I  still work with TLJ.) This new chapter was requested by onyxsoulx. Thank you! I had a blast writing it. Please enjoy the latest addition to the book. :)

"It's hopeless now."
I looked into Finn's eyes. "Don't say that. If we can just hold them off for long enough, the rest of us can hide and sit it out..."
Loud stomping noises interrupted me. They were here, and they had brought fire and flames to our doorstep. Finn was right. There was no point in fighting them any longer. Kylo Ren was going to smoke us out of here. If only I could have stopped him.
Then it came to me. I knew how to end all of this. All the tension fell from my body as I raised my head.

"Finn, I need you, Poe, and Leia to gather everyone and get away from here. You can escape through the back of the cave. I'll buy you some time."
"You can't do that!" he protested. "You're going to die!"
"Don't worry about me, Finn. Just promise me you'll get out of here. I need you to be a leader now. Lead them out and don't look back."
"What will you do? You're going to be alone with him while you play the decoy! Who will get you out of here?"
"It's okay, I know what I'll do. Trust me." I tried not to let him guess what I was really counting on.
"Fine," he finally said. "Take care."

I watched from afar as Finn and Poe rounded up the remainders of the Resistance and led them away. More and more blasts shook the halls. I looked away as Poe waved me goodbye.
The gate came down with a crash. I took a deep breath and stepped outside.

Deafening silence. I knew what was going through Kylo's mind now. I knew he would not fire at me. He was too curious what I was trying to accomplish.
The seconds passed. I felt my heart beating, bursting. Then, finally, a hatch opened and a dark figure appeared. He was striding towards me.

"Hello, my love." Despite all that had happened, these words still crossed my lips all too easily.
"Have you come to mess with us again?" he snapped. "You will not succeed this time."
"Please, don't be like that. For old times' sake, give me a moment to speak to you." I looked up at him and saw - no, I did not see anything. "I would like to tell you that your mother says hi, but I would be lying. I have not spoken to her about you in a long time."

"What do I care?" he bellowed. "What do you want, [Y/N]?"
"I don't know." And it was true. I did not know what I wanted to hear. "I missed you, Ben. Maybe I just wanted to see you again." I hesitated. "I know you missed me too. You try to act like you hate me, but if you had ever really stopped caring, you would be indifferent by now. But that's okay. I still feel it too -"

"You should have come with me. But your stupid- your stupid Jedi way of thinking kept you from truly loving me! We could have been... we could have been together, but you ruined it!" He spat as he yelled. I did not back away.
"You already had me, but you chose to leave. I stayed, and you chose Snoke over me. How could you blame me?"

"You... I had to do this! I was right, and you were wrong! How dare you defy me?" He drew his lightsaber and pointed it at me. Still I did not move.
"Ben, I wanted you. But how could I leave the Resistance? What I'm doing here is right. I am no harbringer of death and destruction like you. I always hoped you would understand that one day, but perhaps I asked too much."
"We could have been great if you had just come with me! I wanted you to follow me, I love you!" He took a step backwards. "I loved you."
"It's alright, Ben. I love you too." I held out my hand. "I always did."

He stared me down. One second, two, three. Then he screamed. "No! You... How dare you..." He whirled his lightsaber. "Face me, you coward! Stop talking and face me!"
"I always feared it would end this way," I sighed. Then I drew my weapon as well.

He lunged at me, and I deflected. His style had changed; once a balanced man, he now ran on pure aggression. I would have felt sorry for him had I not been fighting for my life. My hair, longer than I liked it, whacked me in the face as I spun around, blocking his attacks and stabbing where I found openings. I knew I would not win this fight. I just needed to make it last.

And I did. I had promised Finn that I would buy him time, and I had. By now he would be leading them away from this planet, in rusty flying machines that could not hold them forever. But at least they were flying and, if nothing else, they had hope. I hoped Poe understood what I was trying to do. I was almost certain Leia had guessed it. She would keep my boys from doing something stupid.

I wished I'd had the time to say goodbye to her.

Kylo had worn himself out by now, but so had I. One more minute, I tried to promise myself. Just count down from sixty. 
I never finished the countdown. The tip of my lightsaber met his chest, tearing through ribcage and lungs. But the burning, sizzling pain in my stomach told me everything else I needed to know.

"Touché," I whispered as he choked.

The last thing I saw as the world faded to black

were his eyes softening

and then turning

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