Wow I've been an overactive user haven't I. How much I use you oh my oh my. The trust and honour i constantly say I have is rather a huge you isn't it. I've done a great deal in your name haven't I. I'm as evil as they come or perhaps worse because I've befriended you. I have taken a liking in your evil nature. I've taken a grasp into a world I cannot control and I still use you even on myself. How do I let you go because clearly I don't have any idea what I'm doing anymore. Day after day, a lie after a lie as I go fourth to my demise. I know it's coming but how do I make myself feel okay about it. I clearly am not at all. I have stabbed trust in the back front and head-on. I even took my pleasurable anguish to quench a thirst I should not have. How do I ever go back from this my friend. Should I use you again because damn. I'm in a body that wants to survive within a mind that's dying. It should be the other way around but who's listening anyway. It's the way I want it. At least you will it so. How long am I gonna be using you to my advantages. How long should I benefit from this. Am I even benefiting or it's just another one of your big lies? Is everything I am a big lie. You make me question my own judgement. Funny how I say I'm a man of honor but yet I do so many morally questionable things with the defense of it being the greater good. It's not the greater good it's just what suits me at the time. Funny how a letter to you is a lot about me. I see that now. I'm a mess and I deceive myself to not care. But I dangerously do. I dangerously think about my downfall too many times. I've marked myself as an enemy to most and my deceit is called friends. I don't really have friends cause if I did I would've never betrayed them. Perhaps that's another lie I use in order that I sleep at night. Everyone is hiding but you my friend hide the best. You pretend to care but all you do is hide. Behind pillar after pillar. Acting strange and strong but truly you're terrified of this reality. You wanna escape it by wearing someone's skin. And so far you've done a good job I can't recognize you. You're something else entirely. Or should I say I'm someone else entirely. Relieve me of this darkness and shed away all my lies. I confess I'm terrified. Not of what's to come. But of what I've done. What I've become requires redemption of the highest magnitude. Please I ask of you. Stop being my friend please. We're a mess together I need some space. If I ever need you don't come. I have to handle my reality without dying inside. If I'm to resurface as victorious from this journey. Don't look my way. I believe I won't recognize you because I wouldn't recognize myself. Be gone beloved
My tears are not worthless
YOU ARE READING
Letters and Emotions.
PoetryEach emotion and action are addressed as though they are living entities. it's a one sided conversation of what certain scenarios/emotions made me feel, act or behave in a certain way.
