The Boy With The Blank Stare: The Promise

Chapter Seven: Purpose

Ouma's POV:

I used to spend every day of my life making dumb plans for me and my friends. I think it was pretty cartoonish looking back, I mean I'll never forget the great escape of fifth grade- also known as the day Takashiro nearly killed me because hey friendship means sometimes giving the friend control of your life without realizing the dumbass was a dumbass.

God, I miss him...

So I would think, seeing as I'm an 'adult' now or at least close enough, and I think certain events have made me mature faster than I should have had for my age that this part of me was more or less left behind, like an antique that's bought just because it's nice and nostalgic.

But I guess not, because here I am going through what seems like hundreds of situations trying to find some sort of way to make my plans work, that somehow after five painfully long years, years where one lie has grown and entangled the whole town, where people depend on that lie for emotional stability...I want to tell the truth, without any risk of backfires this time and with no one having to get hurt.

I want justice. I want that man to be caught and punished for his crimes. I want for everyone to finally be able to stop asking 'why did you do it?' I want...I want my friends to be able to rest easy knowing I took care of everything for them, that the man who butchered them didn't get away with it, along with all his other victims.

But...how does someone like me do that?

"Hey Ouma, what are you doing?" Saihara asked I heard the sound of a seat being pulled out, I shrugged, 'I'm thinking' I told him, "about what?" he pushed further.

How do I explain this to him? My goal of catching him? I don't think...I don't know if he would want to get involved in this kind of plan. They'll hurt him probably if we get caught...along with Momota, I don't want them to get hurt because of me...so it's better off if I just try by myself...but...

I clutched my fist, how can I? With this useless body of mine? What can I do? I can barely even speak to people...I can't even really talk to Saihara...and I've never managed to speak without stuttering...even if I did...even if I did tell anyone about what really happened-would they even believe me? Or would they just stick to the generally accepted story and throw away the truth...

Funny actually...if not painfully ironic...wasn't lying my trade marked skill back in the day...? Now my life has become some sort of lie-

"Ouma, are you ok? You look stressed, I'm here to talk if you need to" Saihara offered, I felt him place a hand on my shoulder and I tensed up as he grabbed it back, "sorry...I should have asked before I touched you..." he apologized, though I could tell he was a little disappointed.

Some friend huh...? I don't know why he even really wants to still spend time with me...he said he was here for the real reason why Chiasa died...and I already told him the answer...he could go at any moment- go back to where he lived before this and leave me...so why...

Why are you still here?

'Saihara, I have an idea for my future' I told him hesitantly, I could practically see his joy, "really? That's great Ouma! Whatever it is I'll help you get there! Well only if you want, but still I'm really happy for you!" he told me, I couldn't help but smile a little, even with context, his enthusiasm rang clearly in his voice and I could imagine his wide smile.

I'm sorry...'this might sound stupid, so I'm sorry for that' I told him, "like what kind of stupid? Fun stupid or dumb stupid?" Saihara asked, 'dumb stupid' I elaborated, "oh boy..." Saihara mumbled, 'I want to reveal what happened, what really happened to DICE, I know it sounds a bit out of nowhere...and that it has a lot of risks so you don't need to help-'

"Let's do it" Saihara said, my eyes widened, what?  "you heard me, I want to help you reveal the truth, it's just...well Ouma it's been so many years, and the amount of lies and fake evidence they must have left behind to sell this story to the world is going to be hard to prove false, even with your testimony along with probably Momota's and Harukawa's, but I'm going to help you regardless alright?" Saihara promised.

But...but...

"So...don't worry to much alright?" he said.

...

...

...

Maybe...maybe this is why...maybe this is why the universe let me survive...why the world let me survive...why regardless of how many times I tried to die I came out alive...because...because the world knew one day I would finally get a bigger purpose....

...

...

...

I won't see you guys for a long time...and that hurts so much...it feels like you've been in my life since the beginning...but that isn't true, I've lived more of my life not having you in it then in it...but...I won't ever let you guys go...so...wait for me just a little longer, then you guys can rest in peace...alright?