Illusion • Hemmings

Luke

A few days after Jennies incident I took it upon myself to pack up her things for her before going to pack my own. A knock on the door caught my attention as the guys walked into the room looking exhausted.

"Hey," I greet them with a nod and finish zipping up my suitcase setting it to the side. I should pack a small bag for when she's released from the hospital.

"How is she?" Ashton is the first to speak.

"She's been sleeping a lot but the doctor said that's normal the worst will be the withdrawals... I got rid of the rest of the stuff, but I think something kind of became clearer for her since she woke up in the hospital. Like the seriousness of the situation. I don't think she'll fight with us on her getting help, not that the doctors will give her much of a chance, but I don't want her spending Christmas in rehab." I say throwing whatever I'll use on the plane in a bag.

"But after.. we'll take her right?" Michael prompts me and I stay silent for a moment looking at the bag in my hands.

I should say yes, I should know that this is what she needs. But all I can think about is how I'm losing her again. I keep losing her and it's not fair. I've been fighting so hard because I've never felt this way about anyone else but it's seems that no matter what I do, it's not enough.

"Luke," Ashton tries getting my attention. "we're gonna get her help, right?"

"What if she's able to get sober without having to check into rehab? I can talk to my parents and they can help. Do you know what rehab will do to her career? And-"

"Luke," Ashton pulls me into a hug and I didn't notice I was crying again. So manly. "Luke, you need to get her proper help. She attempted to kill herself. This is serious."

"I-I keep losing her. It's not fair." I feel more arms wrap around me and I start laughing when i realize Michael and Calum started hugging me too. "Let me go." I groan using the palm of my hand to wipe away my tears.

"If we don't get her help then this will only happen again, and we might not get so lucky.." Michael speaks and that nights events flash through my head.

"Okay, okay. I have to go meet the doctors and talk about Jennie being let out.." I trail off waiting a moment before leaving my room and downstairs to take a car to the hospital alone with a bag of jennies stuff.

When I arrive at the hospital and clear everything up with her doctors I walk into Jennies room but she isn't in bed, as I step into the room fully setting down the duffle bag i see the bathroom door is closed and I can hear her throwing up. I knock lightly, "Jennie, are you okay?" I ask through the wood only to hear the toilent flush then the water start running.

I step back and decide to sit on the bed for when she comes out and when she does her face is pale and a bit yellow. "Hi," she tries to smile before walking over to get a cup of water.

"Are you okay?" I ask with a frown.

"Yeah, it's um.. its a withdrawal from the pills.." She basically chugs cup after cup of water and looks around the room while collecting her hair in her hands and putting it in a ponytail.

"Oh yeah the doctors told me about that."

"Yeah.. Is that my stuff?" She goes to her bag looking at the things i packed for her and begins changing from her gown to leggings and one of my shirts I packed just in case she wanted it.

"Oh, do you want me to get you anything before we go back yo the hotel? The doctors said you can leave today but take it easy." Jennie shakes her head walking over to me so she's standing between my legs with her arms around my shoulders.

"No, I'll live. But thank you for caring.."

"I always will, Jennie." I remind her. "I love you.."

She stays silent for a moment looking over my face a few times before she kisses my cheek. "I love you, too."

-

The next day or two Jennie slept, then threw up, then drank water, then slept some more. Thankfully she was feeling a little better for our flight home. In her words it was "barely bearable", Jennie got up too many times to throw up in the bathroom and she refused to eat so I at least made her drink water.

When I slept she was awake and when she slept I was awake. Thankfully we landed in one piece, but Jennie was still asleep on the ride to my house. At least the more she sleeps the less of a chance she gets to see what's going on online.

I stayed quiet while we entered the house and told Jennie she could just go up to sleep and I'll come up with an excuse for my parents. I take a breath and try to calm myself before I walked through the kitchen to our patio where my parents were sitting and talking.

"Hey Luke! I didn't know you were home already," my mum greets me standing and giving me a tight hug.

"Yeah, we just got here but Jennie went up to the room because she's sick." I explain to them.

"How is she doing.. Considering?" My mum asks sadly as we sit and talk. The night I spent in the waiting room I called my mum in hysterics telling her what happened. She talked me down from a breakdown and had me keep her updated although all the media outlets were doing just as well with updates.

"Uh she's... Not too great but were taking it day by day." I explain rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

My body was messed up from jetlag and I didn't know if I wanted to sleep, scream or just go for a walk.

"Honey, why don't you go sleep? You look so tired," my mum pats my back letting me know it's okay.

"But it's Christmas Eve." I try to smile rubbing my eyes again.

"We'll do something fun tonight, go rest." She smiles standing and pulling me to my feet.

"Okay, I can see when I'm not wanted." I fake being hurt but hug my mum and give my dad a pat on the arm.

I already feel dead on my feet as I make my way up to my room. When I walk in I see Jennie cuddled up in my bed by herself.

"Stop staring at me and come cuddle." She speaks softly making me breathe a laugh. I lay down getting under the covers and pulling her into my chest. I sigh in content kissing her head and taking Im the comfortable silence that surrounds us. "I'm gonna get help, Luke." Jennie sighs scooting away from me so she can look into my eyes.

"Are you sure that's what you want?" I don't know why I asked that exactly but I'm sure she understands what i meant.

"I've said this a lot, but I really mean it, I want to get better and be better for you but also for myself. I'm tired of fighting myself. I know I don't act like the best.. Friend? Person? I don't know but I mean it it, Luke," she sighs sitting up to get a better look at me. "I love you, so so so much." Her hand moves to caress my cheek and her words leave me breathless while my heart is pounding in my chest. "I'm sorry I've been so horrible to you and everyone else."

I have no idea what to say so I just tell her how I feel. "I love you." I smile pressing my lips to hers and pulling her body to mine so I can hug her tightly.

Jennies laughs as I squeeze her in a hug the lay with her resting her head on my chest.

"We're gonna be okay." I breathe looking up to the ceiling.