Caught Up In Lucifer's Eyes

Kabanata 7

Hug

Days passed after that dinner kung saan inindian ako ni Lucius. Since then, I've been so alone in the house. Sanay naman akong mamuhay mag-isa pero nakakabaliw ang katahimikan ng bahay niya.

School days were becoming more and more hectic. Parami nang parami ang mga gawain at talagang sabay-sabay pa sila. Minsan, iniisip ko tuloy kung nag-uusap usap ba ang mga prof kung kelan sila magpapagawa ng requirements dahil parang pinlanong sabay-sabay ang buhos nila.

Lucius' house was large but it wasn't so hard to clean. Mansyon ang bahay niya. Kasya na ang isang oras kada araw at alikabok lang naman ang nililinis ko. Wala naman nang ibang tao rito.

Well, I'm starting to think that this work is too light to compare to its benefits. My necessities are supplied by this house already. Tubig, kuryente, pagkain! I was right when I thought that this is all just his kindness to me.

Mapagpasalamat naman ako roon. School tasks are quite heavy, lalong-lalo na ang mga groupworks na sinosolo ko. It makes me proud of myself dahil kadalasan, kinakaya ko naman mag-isa.

But in some cases, probably not. Napatunayan ko yan nang lumipat ako ng matitirhan. I developed a very bad habit, that is the excitement I feel at the end of the school days at uuwi si Lucius ng bahay. Nasanay na akong hintayin siya bawat Biyernes.

Am I such a loner all my life that these ill-feelings finally subside after long years? Pero kung nasanay ako ng mag-isa sa loob ng mahabang panahon, why do I feel disappointed when I am left alone everytime I'm supposed to be with his company?

Maybe it's because of famillial reasons. Siguro dahil si Lucius ang nag-alaga sa akin nang may problema ako, inisip kong pamilya ko siya? Maybe because the idea of a family couldn't be limited just by blood.

Lucius is a warm person after all. Totoong hindi siya palasalita at tipid kung umimik but I feel like he's keeping me safe. Sa pagpapatira pa lang niya sakin dito ay obvious na.

Kaya no matter how worse school days could get, tinitiis ko na lang. It's because finally I have somewhere and someone where I can go home to. Kahit pa tagalinis lang ako roon. It's the feeling of the comfort that feeds my soul.

And when I say worse, this is what I'm talking about...

Kadarating ko pa lang sa classroom at kakahanap pa lang ng mauupuan. Iginala ko ang pangin at siguradong-sigurado akong ilang sandali na lang ay mayroong lalapit sa akin.

"Helena!"

Kumaway mula sa akin si Marco. Mula sa pinto ay lumapit ito sa pwesto ko. I just smiled back.

I'm not sure if Marco is my friend or not but I'm sure that friends wouldn't feel this way. Instead of being enthusiastic seeing him around, I feel terrified some reasons.

Ilang araw nang ganito ang turing sa akin ni Marco. He'd always sit beside me and strike a conversation. At hindi ko alam kung bakit padalas nang padalas iyon, pasama rin nang pasama.

We'd always engage into talking to each other. Laging magsisimula sa isang normal na conversation. It always starts with light topics and his friendly smile. Kaya lang, patagal nang patagal ang usapan at napupunta na sa ibang bagay.

It always ends up with arguments and his sudden shift in mood. Akala ko sa una lang yon, pero paulit-ulit lang na nangyayari.

I tried so hard to keep up with him. This was a test of my kindness and patience.  He's a 'friend' afterall. Whenever there's an argument, madalas kong pinapalagpas.

But the deeper I came to know him, the creepier it gets. Madalas ang mga pag-aaway namin ay dahil sa aking personal na issues.

He would ask if I have a boyfriend. Minsan naman ay kung may pumuporma ba sakin. He would also point out a random guy in the class at saka niya tatanungin kung magugustuhan ko ba ito. When I say they're nice because they really are, he starts a foul mood.