Caught Up In Lucifer's Eyes

Kabanata 5

Apology

Nagtagal nang ilang minuto ang byahe namin ni Lucius. Sa byahe ay halos walang nagsasalita. To avoid awkwardness, I think,  Lucius turned the stereo on.

Hindi ko rin maipagkailang kinakabahan ako. Something might happen to me again. Naalala ko kung paano ako pisikal na nasaktan noong huli kaming nag-usap ni Manang Fe.

Actually, it's not just physical. What she did inflicted emotional harm to me. Matagal ko na rin siyang pinagkatiwalaan, samantalang sa isang misunderstanding lang, mapagbubuhatan na pala niya'ko ng kamay.

But... It doesn't mean I can't forgive her. That's why I'm here. To clear out misunderstandings and not to leave emotional burdens.

Sa harap ng apartment ay tumigil na ang sasakyan ni Lucius. I asked him if he could just drop me somewhere near here, but he's too nice to drop me off at the actual place.

Before going out, I took a deep breath. No one knows what is going to happen. If this fails, I have to remind myself that I still tried.

Binuksan ko ang pinto ng sasakyan nang bigla akong tinawag ni Lucius.

"Can you handle that... alone? Do you want me to come along?"

I smiled at him. Umiling ako sa kanya. There is he is, being too kind again.

His kindness is up to skies, however, he doesn't even smile. Sa lahat ng pagkakataon, laging seryoso siya. His voice is also deep. He's very kind but nothing is so soft about him besides his heart.

"Kaya ko na'to. Thanks for the ride. Uhm, goodluck sa pupuntahan mo."

He looked at me seriously. When his stare lasted for five seconds, I had no choice but to look away. What was that?!

"No. I won't leave 'til you finish. Hihintayin ko munang matapos ka."

He licked his lips.

"Pero..."

Nag-isip ako ng dahilan kung bakit nga ba dapat na huwag na niya akong hintayin. Hindi ko sinasadyang laging kontrahin ang mga suhestiyon niya, but I always do that when I feel he's giving too much kindness to me.

"It's inconvenient! And... If you wait for me, it would take much time. Hindi ko pa alam kung gaano ako katagal dito. Plus, you've done a lot for me already."

Tumingin lang ito sa akin. I know everything I say when I decline his kindness always go to trash.

"No buts. I'll still wait. No matter what you say. You can't push me away."

He looked sharply at me. Am I pushing him away? Does he think that way? But... no!

Wala na akong nasabi dahil hindi ko na alam ang sasabihin. Ilang segundong katahimikan ang namayani sa aming dalawa.

"Uh, alis na ako?"

He sighed.

"Be careful, Helena. Always."

Tumango ako at isinarado na ang pinto. While walking my way towards Manang Fe's apartment, I couldn't even focus. I was caught up by the last thing he said.

Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ba napakalaki ng impact ng mga simpleng salita niya sa akin. Or he's just too serious that I am way too intimidated?

Bitbit ko ang isang basket ng prutas para kay Manang Fe. I didn't do anything wrong so it can't be called a 'peace-offering'. Maybe just a farewell gift?

"Tao po,"

Kumatok ako sa kanilang pinto. Ilang segundo lang ay pinagbuksan ako ng babaeng anak ni Manang Fe, si Monica. Tipid na ngiti ang iginawad nito sa akin.