I'm still hurting - Sally Face (agere)

-4-

TW: Self-harm and other triggering topics.

-Sal Fishers POV-

 "I'm not scared of anything, Sal" Ace says to me with a confused look on her face.

"Because of my face," I respond. 

"Your face is fine," she says back almost like she had no idea what I was referencing, she completely looked through it, no one has ever just completely looked through it. 

We made eye contact for what felt like forever. That's when Todd walked back in. He explained why it took him so long and when she looked at him her whole face changed into disgust but you could tell that it was fake. You could tell she was trying to be disgusted but she wasn't, at least I could tell.

-

- Ace Hart's POV-

I dreamt of the ocean, the beautiful blue waves, and the planks below me began to shake

I woke up, I open my eyes to see Janis. 

"Good morning dear, it's Sunday and we were not sure if you go to church or anything so I just wanted to give you the opportunity to go if you wanted," She said in a sweet tone. 

"No no I'm sorry I don't go but thank you," I say back to her. She smiles and responds

 " Ray and I don't go either but I want you to be comfortable here so I want you to have all kinds of opportunities." I just smile and wave as she leaves the room. She seems sweet, why?

-TW-

I get up and grab my bag of clothes and head to the bathroom. I strip and turn the shower on. I grab my blade from my bag and get into the shower. I think about how I let Alexi, my dad, my mom, Miss Kate, and basically, everybody else in my life hurt me. I dragged the blade across my arm watching the metallic blood drip onto the bottom of the shower and then wash away. The water hits my wrist and I squint my eyes because of the shocking feeling. I love that feeling. 

I wash my hair and continue my shower until I'm done. I get out and take a look at myself in the mirror. I'm ugly, I look at my bags, my face sunken in because I could never sleep, not with him around.

 I stop looking at myself and grab my clothes

-

"Hey Ace, can you do me a favor?" Todd says 

"Uh, what?" I say while bending over to fix the laces on my converse, his eyes follow my hands, he's very observant.

"Sally left at like 4 am and he left his phone, will you take it to him?" He asks. 

"Nah, but have fun with that"  say and begin to walk away. 

"Please, Travis is looking for me and I don't want to break another pair of glasses," he says in a scared voice. I don't know who Travis is but I kind of feel bad for Todd. 

"Fine," I say and start to leave because Sal told me his apartment number yesterday. 

"wait, he's in the basement with Larry." He says quickly handing me a card. I just sigh and slam the door shut.

I don't want to do this, Sal makes me feel weird and I don't like it. 

 I make my way to the basement and knock on the only apartment down there, just past the grimy washing machines. A very familiar-looking woman opens the door. I stumble over my words trying to figure out who she is. 

"is uh um sa- Sally here?". She smiles and responds, I never stutter like this, who is she?

" yes and are you new here? What's your name sweetie?" she says smiling, her voice giving it away.

"Lisa?" I say out loud. 

"That's me, darling," She says confused. 

"Monica's daughter" I point at myself, Lisa was my mother's friend, well AA sponsor.

"I barely recognized you without your little freckles and chubby cheeks," She says pulling me into a hug. 

"yeah, I'm a little different now," I say smiling slightly, Lisa has always been very nice to me. 

" What are you doing on this side of town?" she asks. 

"I moved in upstairs," I say back and she nods

"You are gonna have to take me up to see your mom sometime sweetheart". my smile drops,

 "do you not know?" I say in a whispered voice.

She gives me a confused look. 

"My mom is dead"