Encountering The Normy

Solace

/ˈsɒlɪs/ noun. comfort or consolation in a time of great distress or sadness. 

The following days went by quickly. My schedule is tight and busy.

 At times I am driving, I am waking up early with Normy. We do lots of detour and road trip. Sometimes we even wait for sunset. I wish I can take pictures of us together kaso hindi pwede. Hindi pa siya gising. We also put a up a schedule of visits.  I always make sure, I leave fresh dandelions as I hope and wish for her to get well and wake up soon. Also because dandelions remind me of her.

It's funny how one person can flip the situation.

These days I am more into what I am doing. I am more me. Normy taught me to embrace who I am and to stop pretending for someone I am not and for that I am thankful. 

I am sitting beside her habang hawak hawak ko ang kamay ng tulog na katawan ni Normy. 

"Kuya Anthony, are you really Ate Ganda's Prince Charming?" tanong ni Abby, naging automatic key namin si Abby para makapasok. Nag umpisa sa kunyare binibisita namin siya hanggang sa naging totoo na. 

Normy and I are always playing with her. At first I find it strange but she treats Normy's body as if she's taking care of her own big sister. What a kind hearted kid. Sinusuklayan niya pa yung buhok ni Normy. 

"A oo nga pala kuya. Nakalumutan kong iabot sa'yo tong letter noong isang linggo" Ibinigay sa akin ni Abby yung lukot na papel. 

"Did you write this for me?" 

"Hindi kuya, nakita ko yung pangalan mo. Sabi ni mummy noong binitbit daw sa ospital si ate, nakakuyom daw yung kamay tapos may letter." 

Normy was looking for a certain letter, hindi kaya ito yon? I carefully open it. When Abby said she saw my name written there, kinabahan ako. What if I am part of the reason why something bad happen to her? Huminga ko ng malalim saka binuksan yung sulat. 

Hi Athony, 

Ako si Cassandra San Pedro. Sobrang fan na fan mo ko. Alam mo ba ten years old ako noong unang beses kitang nakita. Unang beses ko ring narinig noon yung pagkanta mo. Promise sobrang naging fan mo ko. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, grabe tong taong to! Parang hindi siya tao, para siyang anime character na naging totoo. 

Lagi akong nakaantabay sa mga mall shows mo at saka nirirelease mong kanta. Balita ko magkakamovie ka rin daw. Idol susuportahan kita kahit anong mangyari. Wag kang makikinig sa bashers mo okay? 

Diretso ka lang Idol. Leave the rest to me. Ibablock at irereport natin sila na nambubully. Basta kung saan ka masaya doon ako. Walang kabig , walang preno. 

At kahit sa pagtanda mo, promise dito lang ako idol. Support hundred percent sa lahat ng plano mo sa buhay. Ano ba to. Pinractise ko talaga lahat ng sasabihin ko kanina. Sayang nagkaron ng cut off sa fan meet, hindi ako umabot. 

Ang hirap talaga pag solo. Ang mahal naman kase ng fee para maging member ng official fansclub mo, e working student ako. Basta! promise pag nakatapos ako ng kursong psychology magtatrabaho agad ako. Hindi man ako yayaman agad at least hindi na ko magiging team bahay sa kalahati ng mga ganaps mo. Makakapag spotify na rin ako tapos unli pakinig ang gagawin ko. Hindi na lang youtube video streaming. 

Sige na nga dito na lang. Kainis, andami kong gustong sabihin sa'yo kaso bano ako pagdating sa writing. Hindi ko tuloy mabuo yung idea na gusto kong sabihin. 

Basta ito lang alam ko. Idol, lagi kang magtitiwala sa sarili mo okay? You're the captain of your own ship. Walang kahit na sino. Kaya mo lahat ng to. Hindi ka nag iisa. At a tuwing nahihirapan ka saka gusto mo ng sumuko sana, kahit papano, gamit tong sulat na to, maalala mong may fan na palaging susuporta sa'yo.

I love you to the moon and back. 

Nagmamahal,
Cassandrang hindi stalker, seryosong fan na handang sumuporta kahit sa malayong distansya lang

And with that I found out that she did not find me because of Abby constantly throwing everything to her even she's on comma, but because since then, she knows me and she believes in me.

It is a mystery for me on what really happened at bakit nacomma siya pero maybe it happened for a reason because if it did not occur, I won't personally meet Normy.

 I look at Normy's sleeping body, then to Normy na for some reason, Abby doesn't find weird. Bumulong ako ng 'thank you' Hindi ko napigilang lumuha. Panay pahid ko, but it's flowing endlessly. 

Finding Normy is like a blessing. I found a solace when I felt lost and I am pulling my own self esteem down. Seeing this letter that she personally wrote gave me a stronger sense of understanding of my own song called 'Save you'. 

oOo

Pagkatapos naming bisitahin si Abby at yung sleeping body ni Normy, dumiretso kami sa recording studio. A month went by quickly. Kuya Dan look at me while he's on the other end of the glass divider. 

He press the speaker button. "You good Anthony?" I confidently raise a thumb " Damahin mo yung kanta. You got this" Tumango naman ako. 

I wear the headphones. I breathe deeply and look at Normy as soon as the song played. 

"I dedicate this song to the person who served as my solace and encourage me to save myself as well" Kuya Dan smiled in approval. I saw Normy blush.

And there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up 'til it's over
If it takes you forever, I want you to know...

If you fall, stumble down, I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you, I'll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up,
'Cause I'll be waiting if you fall
You know I'll be there for you