Needy ✔️

#19: Gone; At Peace

Our ignorant bliss came to a complete shatter when we got the call a three months later that our father had passed. Peaceful and in his sleep, it was a painless passing.

The call came in on a day where Jimin was spending the night. I was the one who got the call first. Tears fell, and sobbs bellowed from my mouth. It was horrible being the one to tell my brothers, but I was thankful that Jimin was there through every second.

After the first 24 hours and the initial shock of the reality of him being gone, there was a strange calm that fell over me and my brothers. Jin, Namjoon and I were sad of course, but the fact that he was no longer confused, no longer waking up every day not knowing who he is or where he is, was comforting. He knew who he was now. He knew who his family was, he knew we loved him, and we did all we could to make him as happy as possible.

The facility that he stayed at helped a lot with funeral arrangements. He had a heart condition that we knew about and it didn't make his Alzheimer's any easier on him. As devastating as it all was, the process seemed to be smooth and stress free with their help.

After all the tears, hugs and sorrows from those around us. It was finally time for the funeral. I stood at the front with both of my brother as one by one each guest hugged or kissed us giving their condolences. Aunt Mae was there and Minah, though she looked appropriate for the occasion. Uncle Lee was there, as was the rest of the family. All of our cousins too.

Once the time came, I sat in the pew with Jimin, holding his hand tightly. Jin was at the podium.

"I want to say thank you for everyone coming here today. The reason for our gathering saddens me, but I'm grateful you are here none the less. You all new my father, so there is not much I can tell you that you didn't already know. What I can tell you, is how much I will miss him. How I will miss telling jokes with him, miss running over business ideas with him, and miss his laugh that everyone tells me he passed on to me. I will miss his smile, that reminds me of Namjoon's dimples, and I will miss the kindness sin his eyes that my sister Y/N also has. Thought he is no longer with us; I am lucky to have such a great relationship with my brother and my sister. My father will never be forgotten, and I will love him until I die and miss him dearly."

Namjoon was next and he struggled to start talking at first, but he managed.

"No one prepares you to lose a family member. Not a brother or sister, not a parent, not even a friend. But when you lose someone who was all of those things it tugs a bit harder. My father was my parent yes, but within his illness he became my friend, and even a second brother. In his lucid moments he reminded me to take care of my brother and sister, as I am the youngest. He would remind me as my friend, to take care of myself and to make good decisions when working with my brother and sister. As my brother he would tease me about my future plans with my boyfriend." He let out a small laugh. "I will miss him. I will take with me the things he taught me, and hold them close to my heart, always."

Then it was my turn. I swallowed thickly, nervous for the short speech I was supposed to give, and Jimin gave me an encouraging peck on the cheek. Walking up to the podium was terrifying, and honestly, I didn't want to do this. Not because I didn't want to speak about my father, but because I just wanted this to be over, and start the healing process.

I let out a soft breath looking out to the audience.

"I miss my dad." I stated, holding back my tears. "I've been missing him for years honestly, but it calms me knowing he is now at peace. My father was a good man. He was honest and truly cared about others before himself. Not a single person in this room could say a bad thing about him. I miss him. I miss him so much. I see his traits in my brothers, and it comforts me to know that his good spirit will carry on with the two of them. I love my father, and I will continue to love him each and every day as life goes on. The only thing I have to say to anyone who is really listening; hold on to those you love. Cherish them, and be sure that you accept them for who they are and not what you want them to be. My dad did that. And I will do that as well."