Earthshine (Twilight Fan Fiction)

Chapter Twenty: He's Left A Hole

I walked up to Billy and Jacob’s house, not knowing what to expect. How was Jacob? How was Billy?

I knocked on the door, and Billy answered it. He looked shocked when he saw me.

“Elora,” he said, his eyebrows arching. “How… are you?” he asked.

I looked down at the ground. “Do you mind not talking about it?” I whispered, and he nodded, his features softening. I still hurt inside, and I didn’t want to go into detail about the event unless I had to. “I came to see how Jacob is doing,” I whispered, and Billy nodded again. 

“Of course. He’s in his room,” he said, wheeling aside so I could come in. His house stunk of wet dogs, the smell that made my heart ache. I missed it so much. 

I walked down the hall, and peered into the first room. On a bed too small for him lay Jacob, his expression blank. He was staring at the wall, his left index finger tapping the bed. I walked in and sat down by his feet. He didn’t look at me.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I should have protected him.”

“Shut up,” Jacob snarled. I was surprised by the anger in his voice. I thought he would be sad, not angry. “It wasn’t you. It was them.” He spat, looking at me, and I saw the shimmer of a tear on his cheek. “They killed him.”

I looked down, my eyes burning. The images filled my head and my hands started to shake. I leant against the wall.

Jacob sat up, studying my expression. “He’s left a hole, hasn’t he?” he whispered. I nodded. “I know how you feel."

I looked at Jacob, and saw more tears rolling down his cheeks. I wrapped my arms around him, and he leant his head against my shoulder. It made my heart ache even more to feel such burningly hot skin against mine. “He was the kindest kid I knew. He was the first person to join me when I tried to protect Bella when she was pregnant,” Jacob whispered. I always knew Jacob to be quite hard. It was strange to have him crying on my shoulder, but at the same time comforting. He loved Seth just like I loved Seth, but in a brotherly way.

“When I attacked Renesmee, he came and comforted me,” I whispered, remembering how I felt. I had told Seth about my past life, and he had started to cry. I was so relaxed around him, and he was relaxed around me.

“His determination,” Jacob whispered.

“His desire to protect those he loved,” I whispered. We sat in silence for a second, both of us silently crying. We both remembered all the happy thoughts of Seth we had. “I knew that you loved him when you shouted at me for letting him get hurt,” I whispered, remembering the time perfectly. "I knew that you didn't want anything that could hurt him near him."

“It was such a shock, to see him with a brace around his chest. I wanted to protect him with my life. If only he had told me you were going to Volterra…” Jacob trailed off, and I felt his tears soak through my shirt. “Elora,” he whispered, and I looked at him. “Thanks for coming.”

I nodded.

A growl broke out from outside, and both me and Jacob leapt up. We peered out of the window, Jacob wiping away his tears. A big, grey wolf stood at the opening of the clearing. It was Leah. She must have waited until I was out of the protection of the Cullen’s to attack me.

“Let’s go,” Jacob said, and we walked outside.

Leah crouched into an attacking position as she saw me. I stepped forward, and Jacob didn’t follow me. We both knew what she wanted, and we both knew that I would give it to her. If she wanted to kill me, she could gladly take my life. I didn’t care. I walked forward so I was halfway between Jacob and Leah. I opened my arms wide, as if I was being executed.

Leah leaped forward so we were nose to nose. She looked into my eyes.

“I know. I’m a monster. I let your little brother die. I’m so sorry,” I whispered, my voice shaking. I felt like crumpling forwards, but I couldn't. Not in front of Leah and Jacob. “Just kill me. End my life, so I don’t have to live with the sorrow.” Leah’s eyes thinned. She turned, and ran into the forest. I stared after her, speechless.

"She’ll be back,” Jacob told me, and half a second later Leah emerged as a human. She had probably gotten dressed in the forest.  

In her human form, she walked to me, and wrapped her arms around me.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I know you loved him. I loved him too, and we are all crying at home. I told them to think about how you must feel, but they said that you didn’t deserve sympathy after what you let happen. You may be a bloodsucker, but you made Seth the happiest kid alive. Thank you,” she said, and she kissed my cheek.

“I really am sorry,” I whispered.

Leah broke away from me, and nodded. “Please, come to his funeral. Let everyone know that you are suffering just as much as they are. Perhaps we can weaken the hate between our kinds,” she said, and I nodded.

My phone buzzed beside me, reminding me that I had voicemails. I picked up my phone, dreading what I would hear. They were all from Tom.

"Hey, Elora. Are you still feeling bad? None of the Cullen’s have been at school for a few days,” the first one said, and I clicked delete. “Hi, it’s Tom again. The Cullen’s came to school today, but you weren’t there. I forgot to ask them. Are you better?” I clicked delete. “Okay, Elora. I need to know what is happening. I asked the Cullen’s and they said it was none of my business. What is going on?” I deleted it. “Elora! Please pick up your phone! I need to know what is happening! The Cullen’s told me that you were having some problems with your boyfriend. Tell me!” I deleted it, gritting my teeth. Why did he want to know so badly? “Elora, hi. It’s Tom. I am really getting worried. The Cullen’s won’t tell me what’s wrong, and the school doesn’t know either. What is going on?” I deleted it. As much as I wanted to sit in silence, I couldn’t have someone else fussing over me. I dialed Tom’s number, and he picked it up before it rang once. He was waiting for me.

“Elora!” he sighed. “What happened? Are you okay?” he demanded.

“I’m fine Tom,” I whispered, my voice weak.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“My… boyfriend. Seth,” I whispered, and Tom fell completely silent. “He died. I’m not sure completely how, but he broke his neck.” I couldn’t tell him what really happened. I didn’t want the Volturi coming after us again.

Tom sucked in a breath, “Oh. I’m so sorry,” he whispered, and I shuddered. I should be the one apologizing. I was the one who let him die. “Are you… okay?” he asked.

I shook my head, but then realized that he couldn’t see me. “Not really. It just happened so quickly,” I whispered, and once again my eyes started to burn.

“Will you be back at school soon?” he asked.

“Yeah, I guess. But do you mind not telling anyone? It really is a painful thing,” I whispered, and I heard the phone brush across Tom’s hair as he hastily nodded.

“Of course. No one needs to know,” he said.

“Thanks. I’ll see you soon,” I whispered, and hung up the phone. I leant my phone against my head and closed my eyes. I didn't want to have to go back, but I knew that I would eventually have to go back to school. 

Carlisle walked into my room, the grey knitted jumper he was wearing lighting up his golden eyes more than ever before. He sat down on my bed next to me. “You are very brave, Elora. Never think otherwise,” he told me, kissing my forehead. I wrapped my arms around him, and he returned my embrace.