hollywood whore | c. baker

prologue

july 25th, 2020.
three o'clock pm.
los angeles, california.

hollywood can be a dangerous place in more ways than one. its filled with people drowning in greed, people just looking to make a name for themselves at any cost. full of people with their own intentions in mind, who would stop at nothing to make their aspirations come true. but the most dangerous thing to reside in the hills of the city was love.

love. it seems innocent and harmless. but love mixed with the agendas and toxic minds of los angeles can be deadly. so deadly to the point many wonder if loving someone is even worth it. our story starts in the home of a man who wondered if the cost of loving someone you couldn't have was too much to bear. too much to live with.

was his love not enough? was his pain not enough to make her stay? was he not enough? these thoughts raced through is mind constantly. what could he do to show her that he was indefinitely, whole heartedly, madly in love with her? seeing her with someone else was just enough courage to send him off the deep end.

"colson! colson?" a voice called loudly from the first floor of the house. colson's eyes scanned the door, almost waiting to see if anyone would open it. after a moment of silence he looked away. he wished someone would've opened that door, he wished someone would've stopped him, but no one did.

"just one more minute... one more." he kept repeating to himself in his head. "colson!?" the voice called yet again, only it sounded closer than before. his eyes darted back to the door hoping the person would emerge and tell him that everything was going to be okay. that everything would fall into place and that'd he'd be alright.

again, the door remained closed, no one rushing in to stop him. no one coming between him and the relief of death. he was high enough to not be thinking straight. but sober enough to know what he was doing. he understood the cost of his actions and he was willing to make it all happen.

he looked down at the loaded revolver in his hands and a tear trickled down his face. thoughts of the happier moments in his life rushed back to him, and he let out a few quiet sobs. his heart shattered at the thought of his happiness which had been stripped away entirely. all because of the mistakes he made and the lies he told.

but even that wasn't enough to make him rethink his decision. he knew what he wanted and nothing would change his mind. he'd been debating it for a while, but he knew now that this was what he wanted. he wanted the pain to stop. he wanted the pain to end. he wanted to be free.

picking up the revolver, he pressed the cold weapon against his temple, and closed his eyes. his heart raced as he sat there with his finger resting on the trigger. tears streaming from his eyes, he let out a deep breath, steadying his shakey hand. but before he could do anything else, the door creaked open softly. almost as if the universe made it so. his eyes flew open and he came face to face with the last person he expected to see...

but alas, we're getting ahead of ourselves. in order for you all to understand what's truly happening, lets start our story from the beginning. from the beginning of the end. where our man who was in mad, deep love, still had a glimpse of happiness. shall we?

-

june 1st, 2019.
one o'clock am.
los angeles, california.

the quiet air of the night filled colson's ears as he lay awake after an evening of romance reunited him with his lover. amanda was fast asleep on his chest, her soft breathing was peaceful to colson. he was in heaven when he was with her. but at what cost? he knew how he felt about her but still he didn't treat her like she deserved to be treated.

he lied to her more times than he could count on his fingers. just yesterday, he cheated on her. with the women he told her not to worry about. yet here he was, cuddled up with her in bed as if nothing had happened. as if he wasn't a massive idiot. he knew that this feeling wouldn't last. after all it never does. every time the two of them are happy, something ruins it. only this time colson wasn't expecting it to come so quickly.

letting his mind wonder, he closed his eyes hoping that his nerves would calm in his sleep. he didn't want to ruin what he had with amanda, but it's almost become instinct at this point, for colson to fuck something up. he could be the happiest he'd ever been and he'd still do something to ruin it for himself. self sabotage was his specialty.

-

ten o'clock am.

"good morning sleepy head." amanda whispered to the groggy man beside her. colson's eyes fluttered open softly, and he smiled at the woman before him. "good morning love." he replied planting a small kiss on her cheek. "concert tonight." amanda spoke with an excited tone. "yeah, it's gonna be a good. night." he nodded replying to her.

"get up, you don't want to be late for sound check and rehearsal." she told the blonde before leaving the room. he watched as she left, admiring her backside while doing so. then he got up from his spot in the bed, before going to get ready for the day. if only they both knew what was about to come.

-

author's note:
welcome to hollywood whore, the sequel to rockstar. :)

this book will cover topics like depression and suicide so if that is triggering for you i suggest not reading. i know this prologue seems very dark, but i promise the book won't be filled with sad chapters like this one. i hope you guys like the story being told in third person. i found it easier to write written chapters this way.

this is still an instagram style story, but there will be more written chapters in this one, as oppose to the few i had in rockstar. thank you for all the support on rockstar, it means the world to me that you all enjoyed that book as much as i did. i hope that you all feel the same way about hollywood whore, and i'd love to hear your thoughts on each chapter.

until the next update, thank you for reading! <3