hollywood whore | c. baker

nine - in these walls

july 12th, 2019.
west hollywood, los angeles, ca
two-thirty pm.

"look i really wanted to go to lunch to settle some things." gerald spoke in a serious tone, causing amanda to shift in her seat. she was nervous to hear what he had to say. her stomach was churning at the thought. "oh? what did you want to settle?" asking, she raised her eyebrows. she was being coy, she obviously knew what he wanted to settle. he wanted to settle the elephant in the room, the kiss that they had shared on their trip to oakland.

"you know what amanda. it's been on my mind heavy lately and it doesn't feel right keeping this quiet for much longer." he confessed, gauging her face for a reaction. amanda's mind wandered when she heard his words. she couldn't tell what he meant by quiet. was it meaning out of public eye, or out of their conversations?

"i feel the same way. we should discuss what happened in oakland." she told him honestly. "i know you just got out of a rocky relationship, and we agreed the kiss meant nothing but i truly want to know how you feel about the whole thing." he expressed to her, with a concerned look on his face. amanda was taken aback, she couldn't imagine why he was implying that she was the one who caught feelings over one kiss!

"oh, how i feel? i feel fine. i know it was just a senseless in the moment kiss. no feelings were caught gerald." chuckling slightly, she let him know what's up. "oh, i was just making sure. i didn't want to hurt your feelings by asking you that. i just really enjoy our friendship." he smiled with a laugh at her response. "i do too."

"you're an amazing woman and i'd be so lucky to call you mine. but i'm not ready for a relationship. not after what ashely put me through."
gerald told her with a kind smile. "gerry, it's okay. you don't need to explain yourself. i'm in no way trying to get with you." amanda chuckled in response. "of course you aren't! i'm sorry for making it seem like i thought you were. i just want us to be on the same page." he explained farther, feeling silly for even bringing this up.

"we're just friends and i'd never ask for a better friend than you g." amanda smiled at the bearded man in front of her, ending the conversation. smiling in relief, gerald replied, "i'm so thankful we can move past it maturely like adults. this is why i love you and our friendship mands." nodding in agreement amanda responded, "me too."

after a while of chatting the ever so delicate subject is eventually brought up. they almost made it through lunch without him being a topic of conversation, but it isn't surprising. "i haven't listened to it yet.. i know i'll cry." amanda confessed after gerald had brought up colson's new song. "i get it. it's hard hearing your relationship put to music." he spoke comfortingly. it wasn't like amanda didn't want to hear the song, she was just scared too. she wanted to move past everything, and he was worried hearing their relationship put to music would send her back to the dark place she'd finally gotten out of.

"i've listened to it." gerald told her, catching amanda by surprise. she wondered why he would want to hear the song, but she knew he must've been curious like everyone else. "what did you think?" she asked him, now a bit more intrigued by the song. "it was really emotional and very invasive." he informed her with thinned lips.

"invasive? great." amanda shook her head a the thought of what colson put in the song. "well he shared some moments or yours that seem should have remained private." gerald alluded with an awkward look on his face. "now you're making me want to hear it." amanda sighed at the thought. "we can sit in my car, and i can play it for you if you want." gerald suggested, thinking it would help give amanda closure.