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my alarm went off early this morning when i wasn't expecting it. "dammit." i cursed and rubbed away the drool from my lips. here's to another school year filled with anguish and solitude. i sat at my vanity and but some moisturizer all over my freckled skin. i applied some mascara and some tan eyeshadow onto my eyelids until i could finally notice it. i brushed through my hair and put some clips in it to get it out of my hair for the day.
"good morning father." he opens my door and hands me a mug filled with coffee and a muffin. "what's this for?" i grinned and set them onto my dresser beside me.
"for you my child. i'm off to work. i'll be home late tonight." he leans down and kisses my cheek before leaving my room. i pulled off my pajamas and quickly replaced them with a white polo and bell bottom jeans to tuck it into along with a brown jacket.
"here's to us." i sighed to myself in the mirror and bit into the muffin my father brought me. my fingers reached for the door handle but i couldn't bring myself to do it. i couldn't open this passage to hell. tate couldn't have been more right. living here is hell.
after a couple minutes i finally brought myself to open the front door. tate stood by the road with his backpack in his hands rather than on his back. "hey," i called out to him as i carry my bag in my hands as well. he turned to face me and took my bag out from my hands. "oh... thank you." we walked together until we got to westfield high. the place was indescribable. overpacked with students and filled with false hope.
"so, welcome to the shit hole." tate grinned and looked at my schedule in my hands. "oh math first period. how exciting." we went through the day spending as much time together as possible since we really didn't care for anyone else. i mean we had friends but nobody who mattered as much.
we went on doing this for days and days turned into weeks. due to school work we didn't hang out after school anymore but whenever we could see each other at school we would. it was currently a beautiful saturday afternoon and mother was over in her office and father was at the church. i was sitting in my living room listening to whatever was on the tv while i browsed through a magazine.
"adeline," tate called from behind my front door as he knocked. i rushed uo from my seat and answered the door as if something were wrong. he smiled and held up a sign.
homecoming?
"oh tate..." i sighed and smiled up to him. "you're serious?" he nodded and began to sway like he did when he got happy. "yes. i'll go with you." he set down the sign and pulled me into a hug.
"you should join us for dinner tonight. i'll tell my mom this time so it's not awkward." tate has every intention to be a wholesome person and he had every option to. unfortunately people are gifted with dark thoughts and short fuses. "are you coming?" he asked once he began to walk away.
"yeah." i close the door behind me and walk with him to his home. it was early october and everyone is talking about homecoming. it seems like it's all anyone ever talks about now. i've never gone to any homecomings because i've never been asked but now... well now is different. he opened the door for me and helped me carry my oxygen up the stairs. "so how's school?" he questioned after shutting the door behind me as we entered his room.
"you've been there most of the time." i say and open his dresser to find his secret candy he hides for addie. "but i guess it's alright. haven't really found anyone special." i popped an m&m in my mouth and scrunched my nose as i remembered the first time we shared them.
"yeah. it's pretty normal i guess. same living hell i've been going through for many years." he grabbed some from the bag and fell onto his bed. "so i was thinking... before we go to homecoming we could have our families come together and finally have that big family dinner we've been planning since we met." i turned and grabbed his bird picture book.
"i've been waiting for you to return this," i say and totally blow his idea off.
"you don't like that?" he sat erect and gently grabbed the book from my hands. "why not?"
"it's nothing."
"no tell me," he pulls me closer to him until i'm sitting on his bed beside him. the truth was that i knew my father didn't like tate and that my mother couldn't stand constance. the night would end in disaster and our relationship being damaged and i didn't really want that for us.
"it's not like we're dating, tate. our parents don't have to be there," i laughed and blew it off. he slouched on his bed and crossed his legs. he wore a brown and green sweater that reminded me of his eyes. they were a deep brown that held so much damage and yet they were still so young and charming.
"so you wouldn't date me?" he asked, his voice low as he ate the m&m's. "like if i asked you'd say no?" i shrugged and looked at his window that was covered with white blinds.
"i don't know. maybe? we're just really good friends and i don't want to ruin that." i admit and hold his hand. "i mean there's no doubt i want to spend almost every minute of my life with you but... well that's the exact reason why i wouldn't date you. i'll never be able to marry you. i'll leave you with heartache." there was no doubt he was confused but i couldn't understand why.
"why would i be left with heartache?" my heart broke once i saw the tear slide down his pale cheek. he seemed so broken over something he doesn't yet understand.
"i'm dying. you know that. i won't make it past 27." he grabbed my shoulders and stared deeply into my eyes with some type of emotion i couldn't explain.
"we can have the best years together, adele. you and me." he pulled me into a hug and we just sat there. together.
