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the date was january 15, 1994. days have flown by once school started again. the new semester was happening soon and i was stressed over finals. however it was saturday and i was spending the night over at tate's. we were sitting in front of his tv with two bowls of popcorn since i can't control myself. his parents took addy to some movie type thing so we had the house to ourselves.
tate set the bowls of popcorn on the table and turned to me with a glimmer in his eyes. "can you... can you um." i furrowed my brows and looked to my oxygen tank since he kept looking over to it. "can you have sex?" the question came out almost funny. i had to stifle a laugh by looking the other way. "come oooon." tate complained as i laughed at him.
"no, it's a valid question," i laughed and bit the inside of my cheek as i tried to hide it. "i don't know the answer but... we can test it out." he thought for a moment and shook his head.
"your dads a priest and this is what you do?"
"hey, don't judge my religion followings, and should we be taking about my dad in the same conversation as you asking if i can have sex?" tate laughed and looked between my lips and my eyes. i placed my hands on his shoulders and pulled him closer to me.
"are you sure?" i nodded and closed my eyes as our lips connected. it was just like our first kiss on that wooden bench but this one was more soft, more gentle. my hands roamed his torso and slowly lifted his plain black shirt. he helped me pull it off and my own shirt as well.
i was terrified since this was my first time and i didn't know what i was doing... i wasn't sure if tate was a virgin too, but he didn't seem like one. he unclipped my bra and became rougher with his kisses. my muscles tensed as he tugged at my pants and i pulled away from him. "i'm scared."
"me too. i don't want to hurt you..." i could see the worry in his eyes. "i'll be gentle but the first time hurts."
we ended up going to his bedroom instead of doing it on his couch. being with him was the best thing i've ever known and this would only bring us closer but i didn't feel like i was ready... i probably never will be. "maybe that bitch at homecoming was right. i'm too weak." tate shook his head and mouthed 'no' as he rested his hands on my face.
"i'm not with you for sex, adeline. i'm with you because i'm in love with you. if you aren't ready than i'm not either." he kissed my nose and rested his forehead against mine.
"what do you want to do when you get done with high school?" i ran my fingers through his shaggy blond hair.
"get married to you." his voice was hoarse because he knew it couldn't happen. my life was far too short for me to even graduate. "even if we're both ghosts." i shook my head and moved away from him.
"you're not going to do that, tate. you're going to live your life, you're going to do something special. i know you can." a tear slid down his cheek as he held my hand. "please don't do that..."
"you're the only one who has ever shown me love, adele. i'll never find anyone like you... ever." maybe he's right, but we're only in high school, he has a whole life to live up to. one without me, a high school girlfriend.
"tate, you have so much potential... don't ruin it by ending it so soon." he put my hand up to his lips and kissed it gently. "promise me you won't kill yourself." i held up my pinky and waited for him.
"i won't..." he held up his pinky and we looped them together to show a promise. "i promise." we talked off and on about what he could be when he gets older and what he wants to be. he didn't have too much ambition about it though. we joked about how i'd probably be a nun and working in some strange insane asylum. he said if that ever happened he would somehow fake being a woman and join me, however that would be impossible.
"goodnight, adeline," he sighed and held me in his arms tighter than he has before. "i love you."
"i love you too." we fell asleep to the soft hum of his radio. i had a strange yet pleasant dream that night.
"adeline, is that what they named you?" oliver asked as he sat beside me on the wooden bench. "it's an old name."
"pretty though?" he nodded and turned to me. "who are you?" he laughed and handed me a newspaper article from the late 60's. oliver thredson, aka bloody face. i read until i found the part where he was shot dead. "why are you visiting me?"
"i think it's funny they said i died. i didn't. lana winters shot me in the stomach, nearly killing me. i lived another decades worth of life. i became an experiment to those people who found me. they made me impregnate multiple women just to see if my children would turn out just like me..." i shook my head in disbelief and looked away from him.
"are you implying that-"
"yes, adeline roads. i am your birth father. and well.. your birth mother she's still alive suffering with some form of cancer." he sighed deeply and leaned back on the bench. "you lived with me for a while up until you were about 4. you probably don't remember that. they put you you up for adoption. you were soon adopted by father theo and your whore of a mother."
"why are you visiting me now?"
"well i thought you'd like to know about your history. your parents never let you ask about it. and i just want you to know, i never wanted to put you up for adoption... i know how hard those houses can be, i wanted you to stay with me so i could show you love but... well the people had a different idea."
"adele!" i could hear tate yelling my name but i couldn't wake up. i was trapped inside of my dream. "please!" he sounded like he was crying and i tried so badly to leave but i couldn't.
"what's happening?" i turned to oliver and narrowed my eyes. "he needs me." the man beside me shook his head and took off his glasses. "why is he crying..."
"you've been through so much, adeline. just relax." the sounds of tate's cries and pleads for me to just wake up but i couldn't. "so much suffering."
"but-but i found him. i found my reason to live." oliver nodded and rubbed my head as my eyes brimmed with tears. "i love him."
"and somehow he loves you. that boy is a sociopath, adeline. he can't feel anything. and may i add also a psychopath." i slapped oliver across the face and shook my head with disbelief.
"you don't get to talk about him like that. i don't care if you're some muderer... you don't get to talk about him like that-" my throat closed and i couldn't breathe anymore. each breath i took was artificial as i tried to hang onto my last inhale.
