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tate, addy, and i messed with the flour as we made our cake. it was a school night so my father wasn't going to let us stay up too late but i knew i wasn't going to waste any time sitting around and being awkward. "tate!" i laughed when he clapped his hands and flour flew everywhere. my father looked over to us, his black blazer now sprinkled with flour. he didn't say a word about it, just continued his venture of cooking noodles.
the cake was now in the oven and most likely going to turn out a disaster. we sat around the table with flour all over our clothes and faces but it felt a little too normal to have it taken away. "i present, chicken alfredo." he set the pot on the table and let us serve ourselves. broccoli sat on the table as well but nobody took any. "so addy, your tate's younger sister?"
"no. i'm older." she smiled and took a bite. i was just as shocked as my father but the smile on tate's face after addy said that made me question the truth. "i'm 22."
"i'm 17." tate says and twirled the noodles around his fork. "she's a young soul." we conversed about silly topics, topics i would've never thought my father would be interested in. such as my first real kiss and weird decisions we've all had to make.
my mother came walking into the house with tired eyes and an empty stomach. "hello mrs. valkit," tate says when my mother looked into the kitchen. sorrow filled her eyes as she saw us, but she didn't say a word. she left to her bedroom and abandoned us all.
"she's just exhausted from work," i sighed and looked down to the table. as my empty plate stared back at me. "how about that cake?" i pulled it out from the oven and saw it was finally finished. we all ate a cake that wasn't frosted and that tasted rather plain, but none of us complained. cake was cake.
i walked tate and addy back to their house but before we reached his doorstep he stopped walking and placed his hand on my shoulder. addy went on her way back inside and left tate and i alone. "so..." he bit his lip as a smile tugged at his lips. "saturday?"
"i know... it's so soon. but uh, i'm kinda scared." he tucked his hands in the pockets of his sweater and tilted his head. "the dancing..." tate grabbed my waist and pulled me closer.
"i don't know why you worry so much miss valkit. you dance perfectly. you just have to work on your rhythm." we laughed together as i rested my head on his chest. "you should get home before your dad gets mad," he pulled away from me but kept his hands on my waist. here we stood in his moonlight lit walk way. just the two of us.
"goodnight," i sighed and left his grasp. "i'll see you at school." i left as soon as i saw that he got into his house.
that night i dreamt of my life as a mom. it was false hope but when i woke up it just felt so real. i dressed myself and drank some coffee before heading out the door to meet with tate like i did every morning. "you okay?" he asked and looked down to me.
"yeah." we didn't talk much due to my fears of dying. it was finally catching up with me. when tate asked me what i feared the most i told him dying was one of my worst fears... and for a while i didn't feel that fear anymore but now it's back.
the remainder of my week went by slower than anything. posters were being hung for the football team and voting for kind and queen was everywhere. my fingers tingled as i stared up to the large homecoming banner that was being put above the gym doors. people inside decorated the gym with neon colors and bright lights that only illuminated small parts of the gym. "i can't wait to dance with you," tate came behind me and kissed my cheek.
"neither can i." i turned around to face him and flashed him a toothy grin. we walked home together hand in hand and spoke about bands and about what we think the dance will be like since neither of us have ever gone to homecoming. "i'll see you tomorrow," i winked to him as i veered away from the sidewalk.
that night i mentally prepared myself for the plethora of students that would gather in the gym and the dancing. i hate how i wasn't capable of doing normal things like these other girls who took it for granted.
since my doctor so graciously told me about my new life expectancy i've been putting tally marks on my windowsill to show just how much time i actually had before i died. at the moment it was an idea that made me think that maybe i'd be able to run out of space for more of those little lines but now it only haunts me.
i laid in bed and stared up to my ceiling as the sounds of crickets kept me awake. my blood was pumping too fast due to anxiety as i worried about tomorrow's main event. i knew it would all go as planned but every bone in my body wanted to just stay here in bed.
