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tate and i sat in his bedroom and stared at the ceiling as some music lightly played over the radio. i was so emotionless from last nights discussion with my father that i didn't even feel like i was alive. the music faded into the background as i began to cough. i couldn't stop, it just felt like i couldn't breath. i climbed off tate's bed and laid on the floor. he jumped up and sat beside me in a panic. "what? what's wrong?" his eyes were wide as i continued to cough.
"cup your hands... like this," i huffed out and showed him what to do with his hands. i pulled him on top of me so he was straddling my waist and widened my eyes to show him i was being serious. "bang on my chest-" i began to cough again and it wouldn't stop. tate began to do what i told him but he was being too gentle. "harder," i say and feel him increase his power. i rolled over and coughed up mucus onto the floor. this side of me wasn't pleasant to see but it was what i suffered with. "i'm sorry you had to see that."
"don't be. i'll go... get some paper towels." he left me to go get some cleaning product. a tear slipped down my cheek once i realized just how short my life will be. he rushed back into the room but i took the cleaning supplies away and cleaned it up myself. "thank you," i sighed and stood to my feet. i crossed my legs when i sat on tate's bed and leaned against the wall behind me. i began to hysterically cry like i was going to die tomorrow. i felt like it was all we ever did was cry and get into arguments.
"what's wrong?" he asked and held onto my hand.
"i'm dying..." i cried out and smiled lightly to him. tate sat shocked for a moment but smiled back to me with the biggest smile i've seen him wear yet.
"i want you to know i'm here for you... always." tate says and pulls me into his lap as i cried. "you've always been here for me... and i don't care if i have to clean up some mucus every once in a while," he chuckled lightly and kissed my forehead. "i'm here no matter what happens with us."
"you're so special to me." i look up to him and tried to fight the urge to kiss him. it took everything in me to stay away and focus on something else. "you still haven't returned that bird book," i sniffed and looked to his desk. he chuckled and leaned over to grab the book.
"i like birds. they can fly away when things get too crazy." he opened the hardcovered book and found his favorite page. he read to me about birds and it was peaceful. i stayed over that night and not once did i contemplate going home or leaving his bed. it was just the two of us in a innocent action of sleeping. his radio played softly and i didn't dream that night.
i got up from his bed in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. it was around five in the morning i think. he has a digital alarm clock by his bed that i envied since i had an old one. i opened the bathroom door and flipped on the light. a girl in an old nurse outfit stood in the bathroom with a pallid complexion and white eyes. my own lively eyes widened when i saw her. "look what they did to me," she says as i ripped open the door and ran back to tate's bedroom. i crawled back into his bed with a rapid heartbeat and trouble breathing.
"what? what happened?" tate's voice was groggy and his hair was a mess. i mumbled out something inaudible and turned toward him. "huh?"
"there was a dead girl in your bathroom." tate sighed and pulled me closer to me so i could feel his body next to mine.
"it's okay i'm here now." i fell back asleep in the comforting feeling of having his arms around me. however, we didn't sleep long. tate woke me up when he opened his bedroom door due to someone knocking. i feel like i'm always getting interrupted by someone knocking at the door.
"is adele here?" my mom asked after tate opened the door. i looked at him and saw his red and black pajama pants and his black shirt that had a band logo on the front.
"yeah," he says and opens the door to allow my mom into the room. she walks in and when she sees me she frowns. i was wearing one of tate's shirts and a pair of his sweats. "what happened to... have you-"
"no, mrs. valkit. we didn't have sex," tate chuckled and leaned against his desk with a smile. "we're only friends." my mom nodded and crossed her arms over her chest.
"uh... i need to talk to you for a minute." i follow her out to her office and close the door behind myself. i sit on the couch and watch as she sits across from me. "your father talked to me last night about our marriage." she choked back her tears and looked to the ground. "i think- i know- we're splitting up." i shook my head and watched as she slowly lost her composure.
i knew my parents were unhappy together but i never imagined they would divorce. i thought it was horrible for my father and his reputation among the churches. i sighed deeply and held my mothers hand. "everything will be okay, mom. neither of you have been happy in your marriage for a while now. we all know that." i sat and tried to calm my mom down so she could do her paper work.
i walked back to tate's room and watched as he tried to find a radio station that played a song he liked. "so i heard you found a dress," tate cooed and sat the radio back on his shelf.
"yeah. i think you'll like it." he went to his dresser and pulled something from the top of it. he showed me the tie his mom got him. "so where's your suit?"
"well i haven't got it yet," he shrugged and put the tie back down. "but i'm excited." he grabbed my hand and spun me around like we were dancing. i got tangled in my cord but laughed away the embarrassment.
"i'm sorry i can't dance with you." i frowned and stared up at him. he smirked and put his hands on my waist and swayed us back and forth.
"you're perfect, hush." i felt my chest tighten when he said that, but i continued to sway along with him to his grunge music. his head rested on my shoulder as he danced which didn't seem to comfortable for him since i'm shorter than him by a couple inches. it i enjoyed just being here.
