You tell me that I need to sleep to feel calm to feel happy, you said was a piece of shit, i was worthless, you said id rather get rid of you because your never happy, you try to understand i guess but really do you wanna help me, if you did you would listen, but no you talk and talk and tell me to smile, it's almost like I put on a mask to pretend everythings okay, i can't be a normal child but you don't let me. I want to talk to you, be with you just talk, in order to get out my stress, I remember when you would let me tell you everything that was on my mind tell you that i should do this, and that but now i don't talk to me, tell me nothing when i talk, and then you tell e okay do what you want, I want you to talk to me, I see you like my older sister that I like, that I enjoy being with. You all tell me that "that's what they all say" stop being depressed ''''eww" you all become close leaving me out, leaving me alone, I started to hang out on the opposite side of the world, it was hard it was different, no conversations, just comments, statements, mean things i did it enjoy, i still sont, but i don't know how to come back, am not like you guys, I can't sit here and talk without feeling ridiculous about what may saying, and then i feel super ridiculous, mostly wrong, you don't have anything in common at all, everything is different now. You look for me use to me over there but am not there anymore, i've cried there a bunch of times alone, getting attacked is their favorite thing to do, you feel bad afterwards, I walk out and you pretend to care and ask are you okay, i say "yea" you drop it of course. But am dying inside wishing I could tell you everything hoping you'd understand but you don't, you just stay there wondering about why am weird, a "slut" you've said, you've made me question many things about myself like if you can cure me help me. I want you to try for me, I care about you alot you don't seem to care about me ever, you did once it felt nice.
-this one is too my cousins
YOU ARE READING
spiraling
Şiirnever really know how to express words nor my feelings so I decided to write them down it can bad but in the end it all depends if I make it all alive :)
