VERTIGO HEART | SOPE ✓

03 | VERTIGO HEART

Yoongi awoke to the break of dawn and felt a strange hollow, emptiness inside.

He had grown used to being alone and had long since accepted his solitude as a way of life. He was numb to loneliness, at least he had been until Hoseok miraculously appeared and demonstrated how painful it could be. Once aware, it weighed like an anvil on his scrawny shoulders and beat against his aching heart.

He really was a no one, a name that society had forgotten, tossed aside or truthfully never had the opportunity to know. He was nothing more than a worthless shadow, hidden in others darkness, and yet, somehow, Hoseok had seen him. Those gorgeous hazel irises had looked directly at him and not through him as though he were a spirit. He trusted Yoongi, even though multiple red flags screamed at him not to, and vice versa.

'Why', one may ask.

'Because I know you're worth it, even if you don't think so.'

Those words, his alluring voice echoed throughout his cerebrum and clouded his vision.

Hoseok changed everything and Yoongi slowly unraveled.

However, Yoongi knew it would not be too much longer before he had to move on from that particular place. Such is the life of a mere ghost. As the winter season known for its celebration of Christmas neared its peak, Yoongi doubted his efforts, and instead stocked up for the slower months to come. He avoided the area where he had encountered Hoseok for the next few days. He told himself it was for self-preservation, to not haunt the same places too frequently, but deep down he knew it was mostly because of him, Hoseok.

He had dreamt of Hoseok every single night since they first met and Yoongi found himself gradually attached to the idea of him. He was almost afraid that if he were ever to see him again, he would be tempted to hold onto him and never weaken his grasp. So, as perfect and preferable the area was for a thief such as himself, he stayed away for Hoseok's sake. It was not that he assumed he would be back, especially not for him, but just in case.

Who was he kidding? No one would come back for him, would they?

Yoongi had tried multiple times to dispose of the napkin Hoseok had written his contact details on, honestly he did, but each time he was about to let it fall to its death, he was incapable. What a wimp. He would not use the information, no, but the mere sight of Hoseok's name, his handwriting...it made him queasy and less lonely.

Pathetic, right? A grown man clinging to a napkin as though it were a friend.

He had no friends, however. He had his fair share of arrangements and mutual interest with various people, trading stolen goods for meals or haircuts or to be a plus-one just for the use of a gym shower, but no friends.

For the first time after the tragic demise of his parents, he found himself missing someone. He loathed the yearning infatuation—it was unfamiliar. It clawed at his heart, nagged at his cerebrum and tried to drag him towards the address written neatly on the crumpled paper, but he somehow managed to resist the urge. He tried everything he could to remain occupied, even to the point where he had almost been arrested for the amount he had pilfered in a single day, but even distracted...he was too practiced to make any major mistakes.

A couple more days passed before he dared to return to the shopping center where he had first seen him. It was busier than he had ever seen it. However, he easily slithered between the hoards of people. He was about to lose himself in the routine, but caught a glimpse of a certain cafe and was hauled into reminiscence. Before he could stop himself, he sauntered towards the warmth of the small coffee shop and checked his pockets to make sure he had enough cash.

As Yoongi stood in the queue, he glanced over at the table where he and Hoseok had sat and chatted like old friends until reality crashed down. It was vacant, despite the crowd, and he hoped it would remain that way until he got his coffee.