Tears cascaded his face, rolled down his cheeks and dripped onto his palms. He cried until his eyes ached, bloodshot and sore. He cried until he was hollow, void of emotion. The callous bite of winter stung his face and anything else that was bare, even though he was shrouded in a thick coat and scarf.
The darkness seemed infinite, and stretched far beyond the eye could see. But even in the night sky glimmered millions upon millions of stars. Some shone brightly and were strong, some flickered, barely alive as they tried to survive, while others completely dim. Yoongi felt like a star, a dim one.
He barely knew the area, so to find a shelter in the snow was almost impossible. He rounded a corner and huddled beside a green dumpster in the alleyway. Luckily, he had managed to find dry decrepit boxes to sit on. He hauled his knees to his chest and curled in on himself, and allowed his thoughts to swallow him.
His lungs stung each time he inhaled, as though someone punctured them repeatedly, but he was too despondent to block the harsh cold with the woolen scarf around his neck.
His last chance-his only chance was now gone. And he ruined it all. It was said that lightning never struck the same spot twice, that miracles are not repeated, and perhaps that were correct.
He had been gifted an opportunity and he had lost it in a single moment of weakness.
He wanted to scream, so badly. He felt the tension build up in his throat, but he pushed it down.
What had he thought? How stupid could he be to think that a man like Hoseok, beautiful and stupidly kind, could ever want anything to do with him?
I'm a nobody.
He found himself lost in a dream, so much that he almost forgot where he came from-his reality. He was a dim star that glowed bright whenever it saw Hoseok, his hope, the sun. But now, all of that was gone and he was just a star on the brink of death again.
He gnawed on his lip, nose red and runny, eyes glossy and filled with tears at the thought of Hoseok, the thought that he would never see his face again. The last remains of his heart ached, it hurt so much until he became a mess. He hugged himself as his body wracked with sobs and shivered in the hostile gust.
He thought off all that he lost: he would never see his smile again, hear his laugh, watch his eyes light up with joy, feel the safety of his arms, or breathe in the woodsy scent of his cologne, and he would never wake up to a face filled with Mickey's warm fur again.
He shielded himself from the cold, but to no justice. The light at the end of this tunnel was nonexistent, and he knew the pit he had fallen back into-the pit he was unwilling to return to. He never wanted to return to the darkness, the shadows that swallowed him whole, but here he was.
This time he knew he deserved it, it was his own doing.
Hoseok had given him far too much. He had taken care of him, wasted too much money on him, welcomed him into his home when he had many reasons not to, and all he had done in return was ruin everything. Yoongi's heart clenched. He had violated Hoseok's trust, violated his being when he forced himself onto him. He deserved the hell he was banished to.
He deserved the agony in his heart, the pain of loss.
He deserved it.
Time passed by, far too many minutes or even hours to count, before he eventually found the strength to stand and even longer to find a decent hideout. He wandered for days, too distracted to even steal anything. His emaciated body ached from hunger and fatigue, his mind lost to despair. When he could not find a water source, he bent down and cupped snow in his hands to melt in his mouth.
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Fanfiction[completed] ✎＿Min Yoongi was a man who remained within the safety of shadows and used his dexterous fingers for survival. However, during a Christmas rush hour, he unexpectedly encountered an odd man as bright and bubbly as the sun, which left him c...
